Harry was sitting peacefully on his sofa, enjoying the silence that enveloped him. With only the thought of Louis' nice arse on his mind, Harry smiled gently.
"Amazing," He mumbled, sinking further into the sofa, about to doze off.
"HARRY!!!" The sudden shouting of his name made him jump so hard, he nearly shot out of his skin!
"Yes, Niall?" He sighed, making his way off the sofa and onto his feet.
"HARRY, THERES A FOOKIN SPIDER AND ITS H U G E!!!! COME QUICKLY AND KILL IT PLEASE!?!!?" Niall was very panicked, Harry could hear that, but Niall was also a grown aSS MAN WHO COULD KILL A FUCKINGN SPIDER ON HIS OWN!!!
Harry sighed yet again, tossing his hair out of his face with his hand, (I MISS HARRY'S FUCKING LONG HAIR OKAY!?) and waltzed into the room Niall was shouting from.
He was cornered it seemed, the spider staring straight at him. Harry stifled a chuckle when he saw the look of terror on Niall's face.
FUCKIN PUSSY ASS BITCH, Harry thought as he knelt down and gently took the spider into his hands.
WAIT??? WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST PICK UP SUCH A FOUL CREATURE?!?? Harry screamed internally, wanting to throw the eight-legged beast. So he did. Just in Niall's direction.
Niall screeched and lunged out of the way, toppling over Harry (who nearly smacked his head on the edge of a counter). Niall quickly clawed his way off Harry and scrambled to get out of the room, leaving Harry to wheeze and gasp for the air that's just been knocked out of him.
"Dammit, Niall," He mustered up as he rolled over to prop himself up on his elbow.
"You think you can just throw me, bitch?" Harry's eyes widened in complete surprise. A ducking spider was talking to him right now...
"Think you can just... You can just throw a ni**a and get away wit it? BITCH! I WILL FUCK YOUR WHOLE LIFE UP!!!" Harry quickly scrambled away from the spider, who's voice was very deep for it being so smol."Where you think you goin', cock-sucking-ugly-ass-long-haired-frog-lookin mothafucka?" The spider crawled up onto Harry's chest, right in front of his face, "WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU IS THROWIN A NI**A LIKE THAT?!?? ILL FUCKING END YOU, BITCH ASS FROG!!!"
Harry slowly and carefully, lifted his hand up and flicked the spider across the room, watching as it smacked the wall beside him.
The spider hit the ground and groaned.
"I'll fuckin end you, bitch..." The spider spit at Harry's foot when he made his way in front of the big lying on the floor.
Harry gave a low, evil chuckle, finally feeling confident again.
He leant down, right next to the spider and whispered, "Fuck you mean?" Then stomped his lights out.
-"HARRY!" Louis smacked Harry on the chest. Harry's eyes shot open and he looked up at the man on top of him.
"DID yOu SeRiOuSlY fAlL aSlEeP dUrInG sEx AgAiN?!??!?" Louis rose off Harry and flopped down next to him, grumbling, "what a fookin' turn off..."
"Sorry," he mumbled, "I had a very exciting dream thougH." He smiled sweetly at his lover.
Louis rolled his eyes and turned over, yanking the covers up onto his shoulders, "don't care. Goodnight."
Harry sighed and turned away from Louis. He was just about to doze off again when he heard, "Didn't I tell you id fuck ur whole life up?" Harry looked down to see Louis' head in the spider's grasp.
Harry gasped and whipped his head towards Louis.
Billions of spiders flooded out of the spot where Louis' head used to be.
"GHAGAHGAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH"
-
HOLY FUCK?!?????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?????????? HELP SEMD HELP SEND ME TO PRISON SOMETHING OMLI'm probs gonna get lots of hate for even mentioning the N word in this, but
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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This Is (actually) Us!
HumorJust some 1D madness. Meant to be a crack sort of thing. Welcome to the One Direction shit that floats around in my mind! Enjoy~