Luck Of The Draw (Boy X Boy)

Chapter Eight

I stared down at my feet as I walked, my pastel colored converse giving me no joy as I went along. I didn't want to be back at school... but I was forced to. Either I came back, or I failed the semester.

My legs felt heavy and my eyes ached and were bloodshot, I felt sick. My hair was lazily pulled back into a short ponytail to hide how messy and unkempt it was.

I dragged myself into the school cafeteria, plopping my bag down to tried and finish all of my first hour class work I missed.

I held my head as my pencil scribbled on the papers, my textbook open. I haven't slept in days, and my eyes struggled to stay open. My nights have been filled with crying and long mornful houes on the internet, pondering how I'll be happy without him in my life.

I sighed as the bell rang for everyone to get in class and I shoved my papers in my bag.

As I stood, my eyes widened, a familiar whiff of cologne reaching my nose through everything else, and I slowly looked up, my hands shaking.

Yuu... he just passed like nothing had happened... his jet black hair was clean and taken care of, and he looked perfectly fine... he was even smiling...

He was at a boy with blood red hair tips and the rest beached white...

have I already been replaced?

I gulped, rounding the corners in the the male bathroom and locked myself in a stall.

I cried  into my long sweater sleeves, sniffling up my dripping snot and licking my lips, and biting them, making them a bright pink as my heated face streamed with tears. I studdered and gulped with my breath stuck in my lungs, my tears splashing on the white tile as a silver line flashed in my mind...

I bit my lip and reached into my bag, hyperventilating slightly as I grabbed the small, sharp blade, and my other hand carefully slipped my jeans down to reveal my thighs...

Scars... some fresh, some old. Who cares anymore.

I held up the razor to the light and sighed, looking down before holding the blade edge to my pale skin and drawing a long, thin line, watching as red beads bubbled up through the wound.

Sure it hurt, but it helped... so that's good... right...?

I heard the bathroom door open, and my breath hitched in my throat, my hand hastily leaving another gash, and biting my lip as to not make any sound.

The deep sigh I know all to well sounded as a scarlet droplet fell to the ground and I heard light, deep panting before the lock on the door turned and the door was slammed open.

"Jesus fuck Aiden. Stop. Please." Yuu's eyes are wide as he looked at the sliced lines in my skin.

I looked at him, my eyes leaking tears,  and biting my lip. I opened my mouth, choking on my words. I'm a mess... I wanted to tell him how much I grew to love him in those short weeks, how free I felt yet hidden... how much I loved him even if he was two completely different people, one of which treated me like shit in front of most people....

But the other side of me wanted to yell at him, tell him how much he had destroyed me, and how much I hated him for leaving me. I wanted to scream, and I didn't want him around.

"Aiden. Fucking give me the razor, now." He said in a stern voice, his eyes harsh and his jaw clenched.

My hands shook, and I bit my shaking lip, reluctantly holding the bloody blade to him, my fingertips tainted a scarlet red. He took it from my hand and tossed it in the toilet, flushing it away and crouching in front of me. "Why didn't you fucking tell me?! Why didn't you tell me you self harmed, Aiden?"

I stumbled on my words, my body shaking and my eyes wide, "I-i... i..."

He stared at me, disbelief and anger hidden away in his eyes. "Aiden. Listen to me. I'm not angry at you, okay? I know what it's like. But I am upset that you didnt tell me. You didn't give my anything to even give me an idea about this."

"I-... do you know h-how much your hurt me...?"

He looked up at me in shock as he covered my cuts with toilet paper "w-what?" his eyebrows furrowed as he got confused yet angry "hurt you!? do you think it was easy breaking up with you?! even thinking about it! do you know how hard it physically was to press those little letters on the keyboard of my phone!?"

I flinched slightly and shrunk back, then exhaled. "You selfish prick... you w-weren't the one getting broken u-up with!! I-i despise you! I-its your f-fault!" I hissed, staring up st him, and trying my hardest not to let my voice waver.

He stared at me, genuine hurt etching it's way into his expression. "Fuck Aiden... I-I didn't want you to hate me... I hated being an ass too you... I hated acting like you were nothing..." I watched as I fixed my jeans and stood, his eyes locked on the ground, glazing over.

I stood there, words of regret bubbling up in my throat. But... do I...?

I sighed and looked at him. "Yuu... I... I need to know. Have you replaced me?" The words burned in my throat like acid, and my head swirled.

"What to you mean...?"

"That's boy. Red and white hair... I saw you two."

He glanced up at me, his eyebrows knot together. ".... no. He hasn't replaced you." He muttered, regret lacing his words.

I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair, cringing as the fabric of my jeans rubbed against the wounds.

I glanced at him, then down at the floor "I d-don't actually hate you... I just wish we were still together..."

He glanced up at me, "Aiden... I broke up with you specifically because I didn't want to treat you like that anymore..."

I clenched my teeth and turned, opening the stall door. "Well then you need to figure out your priorities... your so called reputation, or your boyfriend."

I grabbed my bag quickly, in an angry fluster and stormed out the bathroom.