The Life Of A Magician

August 14 2015

     Ok. That wasn't completely true. There was a lot more stuttering (on Carter's behalf) and more questions (on my behalf). Carter didn't say I was the second at Brooklyn House, I just remembered from the transcripts. Plus he said some long name I can't remember. Something like Ra horleky? I don't know. I've always sucked at remembering names.
     But it did take me by surprise. I've learned enough about Egypt to know that Ra was the king of the gods. So once I finished asking a ton of questions (consisting mostly of asking Carter to repeat the name) I went to my room and began to comprehend what was going on.
     I never did. Hours and hours of thinking. Nothing. Eventually it got late so I just went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I remembered something. I needed to call my mom. She was probably freaking out by now. Possibly even had the cops looking for me.
     I jumped out of bed and got downstairs. I asked someone where the phone was. I can't remember who. Again, very bad with names. I punched in the house number and waited. It ringed thrice before she picked up.
     "Hello? Who's this?" she asked automatically.
     "Hey. It's me mom. Max."
     "Oh, thank god! Are you okay? Where are you?" I told her.
     "MAXWELL BRAYSON FILTWATER WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!" I cringed and held the phone away from my ear. She only used my full name when she was really pissed. And I mean smack-you pissed. I sighed.
     "This is going to sound stupid for a bit. But just hear me out. I got the transcripts. I found the djed. I snuck out because that's the only way I could here easily." I could hear her staring at me stupidly. "There are three boxes under my bed covered in hieroglyphics. They are transcripts from the people who run the place I'm at. Listen to them. You'll know what I know. And it's true. All of it. Han Solo, Star Wars, Episode 8." She laughed. Good. She cooled down.
     "So tell me how you did it. How did you get from Ottawa to Brooklyn?" And I told her. Everything except for the part where I got bit. No one needed to know that.
     "Wow. I can't believe you fooled me so easily. And that it worked," she said when I finished. "I guess I'll listen to those transcripts. I'm just glad your safe."
     "So am I," I said.
     "You know, you could have just asked me to drive you and I would've, right?" she wondered.
     "You and I both know that's not true," I replied.
     "Yeah. You got me there. Stay safe Max. I love you."
     "Love you to mom. Bye"
     "Bye." Click. I put the phone back where it was. Finally that's out way. Sadie walked into the room just then.
     "Come on," she said to me. "It's time for your first class."
     She lead me towards the double doors of the library. When she opened them I just stood there, dumbfounded. The place was about half the size of the Great Room. Still huge just not as huge. The ceiling was decorated with a beautiful blue woman dotted with stars, the floor with a green man with flowing rivers and luscious trees. Nut and Geb I believe. Sky goddess and earth god.
     Instead of regular bookshelves, there were a bunch of honeycomb like cubbyholes. Each one had a scroll. Behind the main desk, a girl sat intently studying a scroll. There were kids here and there reading scrolls, getting them or vise versa. And weirdest of all were the clay people. Shabties, right? I read and heard about them but that's nothing like seeing them. That's a whole new level of WTF.
     "So your first class will be Magic 101," Sadie said, snapping me back to reality. "A.K.A. Quick Catch Up So You Don't Kill Yourself And/OR Embarrass Yourself." She pulled out a blank piece of papyrus and sat down. I took a seat next to her.
     "Lesson One," she said. "The simplest form of magic is in written form. Just write what you want to happen and you can either store it in the papyrus or let it happen. It doesn't matter what language but ancient Egyptian seems to have the lowest chance of blowing up. But it's much harder for it to do what you want. Try it." She handed me the quill from the center of the table.
     I took it but asked, "You guys have HD flat screen TVs and crazy fast Internet, and you want me to write with a feather?"
     "Shut up and do it." I raised my hands in surrender. What to write. Let's see. Ummm. . .
     I decided to write smack in English. Suddenly the paper morphed into a hand and slapped me. Hard. Sadie burst out laughing. I sort of just sat still, slowly realizing what just happened.
     "It slapped me," I said stupidly. "The paper just slapped me." Sadie slapped my arm. She could barely breathe from laughing.
     "Stop. . . Stop. . . " She wheezed. She doubled over.
     "Okay, do I need to call 911 or are gonna stop?" She just laughed even harder. I sighed and rested my head on my propped up arm. After about 5 five minutes she finally settled down.
     "Okay. I'm good," she breathed. "Well it's obvious you know how that works. Now for Lesson Two. The second simplest form is to think of what you want to happen. Like a summon basically. Like what you did yesterday with the flame. Or Carter with that chicken-headed avatar of his.
     "Lesson Three. The second hardest form is divine words. Simple words of power said in Egyptian. Like this." She tore of a piece of the papyrus and set it off to the side. Then she held up the other piece, put her palm against it and said "ha-di." The piece blew into a million more. An autopilot broom swept up the remains. She then took the other piece, ripped it, set it on the table put her palm on them, said "hi-nhem" and lifted her palm. The pieces floated up and connected into one. It fluttered down and landed in Sadie's palm. A bit of sweat beaded on her forehead.
     "It takes a lot out of you. I wouldn't recommend it unless you've mastered One and Two. And now Lesson Four. The hardest form in magic is a full on spell. Like a binding or exceration." She said exceration like it tasted disgusting saying it. "One mistake and you burn yourself to a crisp." She looked at a clock on the wall. "I think it's time to hand you over to Carter now, for some Combat 101. He'll be waiting in the court. Bring all your magic supplies."
     "Okay. Thanks for the tips." I headed back to my room to get my stuff and went to the court. Carter was waiting by the door.
     "Alright. Let's go." He walked into the court and I followed.
     "What do you know about using a staff?" he asked.
     "I only ever used a bow staff. I kick butt with a bow staff." I replied.
     "Let's see how much you kick." He pulled a beautifully forged khopesh out of thin air. "You and me. Staff against sword. No magic." Odd thing to notice but there was the smallest of cracks in his blade and a few chips. Plus the hand grip was worn to the extreme. I got an idea.
     "I'll make you a deal. I win you buy me everything I need for a smithy."
     "And if you lose?" I smiled.
     "Do your worst." He hesitated. Then he held out his hand.
     "Deal." We shook. I began to tell him the rules.
     "If I touch your body with my staff, I get a point and if you hit me with the flat of your blade, you get a point. First to five wins. Anything goes."
     I held out my staff with an over hand grip, parallel to the floor. I took a deep breath in and held it. Then I stepped back with my right foot, bent that knee and snapped the right side of the staff against my hip, making it point toward the opponent keeping it parallel. All while I let out the breath with a big yell.
     Carter just bent his knees. Too simple. That won't help him at all.
     Carter made the first move. A predictable overhead slash. I knew where it would go and when to hit it before it was above his head. While he was mid-swing I launched off my right leg swinging up the left side of my staff, intercepting it before he could turn it to the flat. My staff hits it hard enough for it too leave Carter's hand. I used the momentum of the hit and turn it into a three-quarter spin. When I complete the spin (standing sideways from my original position) I loosened the grip of my left hand and propelled the staff into Carter's chest and brought it back just as quickly.
     "One zip." I say, smiling. I realized I forgot to shut the door. Oh well. Can't lose focus. I repeated the same thing I did to start. Carter grabbed his sword and bent his knees.
     This time I struck first. I quickly shifted my weight forward and swung out for a right. He blocked it but I just went in for a faster left taking a step forward. He blocked again but as I pull away his blade got hooked on my staff. I took advantage and pulled back and slightly up. The blade once again flew out of his hand. Without hesitation I took a kneeling step forward and pap him with a quick right to the thigh.
     "Two zip" I said standing up. I heard a few claps from the door. I turned to get Carter's sword and saw about eight maybe ten people at the door. I tossed the sword to Carter and started again. This time my right hand was over and my left under. When I finished I slid my left hand down to my right like I was wielding a two-handed sword. I lunged at him. He knocked it aside and, having the wielding weight advantage, was able to recover quicker. He thwapped me in the hip.
     "Two one." he said. I won't bore you with the details but the the score ended up 5-3 in my favor. By the end pretty much the entire house ended up watching the match.
     "You owe me a forge," I said when I scored my last point. He sighed.
     "Let's figure out the details," he said as we pushed through the cheering crowd. We sat down on the couches once we go through.
     "Where do you want it?" He asked.
     "Wherever there's room."
     "What do you need?" I told him. When I finished he looked shocked.
     "And how much would all that cost?"
     "About $10,000 at the most." He put his head in his hands.
     "Why did I think this was a good idea?"
     "Ask your sister. I'm sure she has a bunch of wonderful reasons." He glared at me. He was about to say something when the phone rang.
     "I got it," I said as I got up. I picked up the phone. "You've reached Brooklyn House, initiate speaking."
     "Max, is that you?" The person asked. Oh crap it was my mom.
     "Yeah. What's up?" I asked as casually as possible, trying to figure out why she'd be mad.
     "Good. ARE YOU STAYING AT A PLACE SUPERVISED BY KIDS!?" I held the phone away from my ear.
     Quickly I said "Yes okay byyee." and hung up.
     "Who was that? Carter asked.
     " Just my mom," I said. The phone rang again. I picked it up and hung up without taking my eyes off Carter. I quickly walked up the stairs to my room and shut the door. I watched TV until I fell asleep.