Born in the Wrong Body-Sherlock Fanfic

Chapter 5

*Mycrofts POV*(trigger warning for graphic description of self harm. Please skip if you get triggered by self harm. Do not worry you will not miss anything important.)

He wanted to cry. Killing his own father was really taking its toll on him. He has been putting on weight and not caring about his appearance. He was truly depressed. How could he have killed someone. Even if that someone was his abusive father. He took another person's life. He was only 11. Eleven and he was a murderer. He felt sickened by himself. He gripped the razor blade tightly as he dragged it across his pale thigh. He watched in sick fascination as blood bubbled in a thin red line. He repeated this again and again until his leg was covered in thin red marks. It may not have bled much but it hurt a lot. He could feel the burn as he desperately tried to clean up the blood. He washed his leg before shoving his jeans back on not caring that they would get blood on them or to bandage his leg. 

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 *Sherlock's POV*

Sherlock was worried for his brother. They had been living with Alfred for a couple of days and tomorrow was their first day going to a proper school. They had never been to school before only being home-schooled by special tutor their father would pay for. Sherlock was dreading it. He did not want to go to a school and have people call him a girl. He hated the thought of it. He also knew that his brother would struggle a lot as he found it difficult to talk to people and he was too smart to properly fit in anywhere. He may not have been around other children before but from the way his parents friends would treat us they must be complete idiots. All in all Sherlock was utterly despising the sound of school. It sounded boring and he would not be able to spend time with his brother. He would be all alone.

He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. He did not want to deal with other people today. He had no clue what to do. He was nervous and nauseous about the idea of spending time with other people. That's when he really started to cry. He tried to muffle his cries but the attempts were useless. "Sherlock, Are you ok?" Alfred asked through the door of his room. He struggled to come up with a response but all that came out was a choked sob. Alfred opened the door and sat down next to him. He was gently stroking his hair. "What's wrong Sherlock?" Alfred asked. 

"I..i..don't wanna go to school." Sherlock cried. Stuttering the whole time. He really did not want to have to deal with other people. He was scared people would hurt him. " I don't want to be hurt." Sherlock sobbed into his bed sheets. He was too scared that he would just be labeled a 'freak' again. He knew his father was right about him. I mean a girl can't dress like a boy or have short hair. He should just give up. He did not even know why he bothered anymore. He should just stop trying. The only thing keeping him alive was his brother. He needed to be strong for him. To be a good little brother. He just wished he was not so weak that he could not even tell him that his perfect little sister was a boy.

"Its okay Sherlock. No one will hurt you. Never again. I know you are feeling nervous about school but it will be fine." Alfred told him.  Sherlock did not believe him. He knew that this was a huge mistake.

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Mycroft was in a lot of pain. His leg was hurting from when he cut it. He just wanted to cry. How could he be so stupid. He did not want anyone to find out what he did. He knew that he made a huge mistake. He was terrified about going to school. He knows that people will think he is a crazy freak. He was way too smart for his age and he struggled to talk to people. He was scared that people would bully him. What if anyone found out his horrible secret. What if they found out how much he hated himself? Or the fact that his sister looked like a boy. He just wanted the ground to swallow him up. Life was too much of a chore. Why did he even bother trying? Why does life have to be this hard?