Chase the Moon (On Hold)

Five

I swung open the door to my cabin and dropped the bundle of clothes from the wedding on the couch. I ran my hand over my face as I moved to the kitchen for some breakfast.

I smiled as I opened the fridge. Ruth must have brought me some of the leftover pancakes from breakfast at the pack house.

She was our pack cook, and the woman practically raised me after I changed and accidentally killed my entire mortal family. She had a big heart, and I guess she felt sympathy for the poor human kid who was attacked by a pack of rogues and brutally forced into the werewolf life.

That's another reason why my shifts hurt so bad. I was bitten, not born like most of this pack, so my wolf is still very hostile and violent as compared to the rest of them.

Teddy says that your wolf usually talks to you and helps you make decisions. I've figured that my wolf is more of the silent type. The only times I've ever heard his voice were times he was attempting to get me to do something violent.

Overall, I was dealt a bad hand of cards, but hey... I have Ruth and free pancakes in my fridge. Can't be all that bad, right?

I sighed and nuked the pancakes in the microwave before drowning them in syrup. I then took a seat at the small breakfast table under the window. Even as leftovers, Ruth's pancakes were delicious, as always, and I made a mental note to thank her for them later.

For now though, I was covered in dirt, sweat, and deer blood, and would like nothing more than to take a shower.

Steam filled the bathroom as scalding hot water plummeted down towards the drain. I reached in and turned the knob to a more tolerable temperature before stepping in.

I thought over all the things I had to do today. I'd probably stop by the pack house first thing to visit with Ruth for a little while and maybe even talk to Luca or Teddy. Then I had a patrol shift from noon to three, and training from five to seven.

I scrubbed shampoo through my hair until it turned into foam. Then I bent my head under the stream of water and let it rinse away the bubbles. My hair flattened out against my eyebrows and I swept it out of the way as I wiped the water from my eyes. The hot water soothed my muscles and helped me relax a bit.

It wasn't long before I found myself thinking about my mate. I couldn't help but wonder what she might look like and how she might act. Whether she'd be soft spoken or outright.

Personally, I think I'd like a mate with a lot of confidence. Someone who wasn't afraid to say what they were thinking. A woman who wasn't afraid to be herself and fight for what she believed in.

I sighed as I shut off the water. Reaching around the shower curtain, I felt around until I found a towel, pulled it over my head, and began to dry off. I then wrapped the towel around my waist and moved to my bedroom to get dressed.

I threw on a pair of dark blue jeans and a white T-shirt. I tucked the shirt into my pants and put on a black belt.

Running my fingers through my hair, I laced up my shoes and set off for the pack house.

A lot of the most important members of the pack lived in the pack house. This included the Alpha, Beta, Theta and their families as well as some of the most skilled enforcers and warriors. Others in the pack house included the pack doctor, Ruth, and any guests to the pack.

The Theta, Benjamin, was in charge of our pack training as well as dungeon work. Basically, anyone in training or the cells was put through Hell at the hands of this man.

The Beta, James, was essentially the vice president of the pack. He took on some of the Alpha's duties like paperwork and internal problems, but otherwise, he was basically just the Alpha's advisor.

Alpha Anderson handled anything from simple fixes within the Yellow Moon Pack to business with neighboring packs. He's also the only person here that can decide whether or not to go to war.

Being as Isabella is his only child, and the current Luna can no longer have anymore children, she will one day take over as head of the pack. Whoever her mate is, if she finds him that is, will be the next Alpha and she will be Luna by his side.

But that's just pack politics. A short, ten minute walk later and I was entering the side door into the kitchen.

"Ruth," I called out, poking my head through the door. "You in here?"

There was an abrupt bang and the woman shuffled out of the pantry, rubbing her head and mumbling cuss words under her breath.

I chuckled as I stepped farther into the kitchen. Ruth wrinkled her nose at me and slapped me with her hand towel. "You know better than to sneak up on me, Marcus Young!"

I held up my hands in surrender as Ruth bustled to the other end of the kitchen. I watched as she stood on her toes, trying to stretch herself far enough to reach one of the big bowls. Her tongue poked out the corner of her mouth and she made little sounds as she tried to stretch herself higher.

I smirked as she slumped back onto her feet in defeat. She turned to me with a frown, hands on her hips. "You just gonna stand there, or help an old lady out?"

I smirked and stepped forward, easily plucking the bowl off the shelf and handing it to her.

Ruth muttered something under her breath. She was probably talking to Roxy, her wolf, so I didn't bother asking what she had said.

I took a seat at the breakfast bar as Ruth set on preparations for lunch. She literally has to feed an army of wolves on a regular basis. In fact, I don't think she ever stops cooking.

"The pancakes tasted great, Ruth. Thank you," I said graciously.

Ruth grumbled something else that sounded a lot like "It could've used a little more cinnamon."

I rolled my eyes and began to tap my fingers against the counter absentmindedly. It took me a moment to realize the kitchen had become silent. I looked up to see Ruth studying me.

"What?" I asked, a little self conscious.

Ruth narrowed her eyes at me. "I know that look. Something's bothering you. Spill."

The corner of my mouth lifted ever so slightly as my gaze dropped down to my hands. Ruth seemed to know me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"It's nothing really," I tried to brush it off. Ruth only responded by placing her hands on her hips and giving me 'the look.' I sighed, knowing full well she could see right through any wall I'd try to put up. "I'm just worried, I guess."

"About what?" she probed a full answer from me.

"I'm worried about my wolf, and what it might do one of these days. I'm worried that I won't be able to control it."

Ruth gave me a sympathetic smile. "It will get better with time. And having your mate beside you will make it easier, once you find her, of course."

"What if I never do, though? What if I'm destined to be attached to a psychotic killing machine for the rest of my life? What if I never find that peace and love that I need? Only anger and repulsion? I don't know what to do, Ruth," my voice was small near the end. I clutched at fistfuls of my hair as I attempted to calm my racing thoughts. "What if I'm not meant to have a happy ending?"

"Don't say that, Mark," Ruth's voice was soft and motherly now. "You'll find her someday, and when you do, everything will change. You just can't give up."

I can't give up.

I looked up at Ruth again, meeting her eyes and giving a slight nod. I can't give up on her. But most of all, I can't give up on myself.

I made a vow right then and there; I would find her... one day.