The Traitor's Wedding

Chapter Five

It wasn't until she was out in the gardens that Sansa slowed her step. Her anger hadn't cooled much, but in the little secluded section of the trees, she could stalk across the grass. She did just that, wringing her hands angrily, but keeping silent. Shae, who had followed her shortly after her outburst, watched her from the edge for quite a while, letting her walk off a bit of her anger. "Is everything all right?" she finally asked.

"No!" she burst out, completely unladylike. She slapped a hand against her mouth and murmured an apology.

"There's no need to apologize," Shae told her almost sympathetically, "Any woman would be upset that she's married to the Hound."

"That's not it. Not at all." Sansa sighed and sat down on one of the small benches she usually used for praying. Shae made her way over to Sansa silently, letting the small redhead blurt out of her thoughts. It was better she did it here rather than in the Keep with all the spies. "He's always been there for me."

Shae scoffed and told her bluntly, "That man is nothing more than a brute."

Sansa couldn't help, but laugh softly. "He's gentler with me. Kinder. He's kept me safe." She sighed again, leaning her head into one of her palms. "It's frustrating that very few get to see this side. But believe me Shae, he does care for me."

"I wouldn't count on it," she replied, not swayed by Sansa's words. Sansa knew exactly what Shae was thinking, that she was still the naive stupid girl from a year ago. But Sansa knew better, she knew Sandor on a level no one else had seen. "He's going to have his way with you, make you hurt in a way no woman should want to, and use you as he needs to. That is what you should believe."

That made Sansa flush and sit up straighter. "I don't need to hear about how uncomfortable tonight will be. I already know-"

"You know nothing. Your lady mother would have made it seem gentler than it will be. Your Septa would have lied. It will hurt, you will bleed, and it will ache to even attempt to close your legs."

Sansa wanted to argue with the foreign girl, defend Sandor for what tonight might be like, and tell Shae that neither her mother nor her Septa would lie about such things. But she found she was lacking in any argument. She was just tired. She settled for the uncomfortable silence and stared out into the trees. She let her anger from Shae's words cool off and let go of her frustrations of Sandor's rude words disappear until she was back to being calm and all ladylike. She let herself think over what this dinner would probably be like for herself and for Sandor.

She was sure Cersei and Tywin Lannister would plot the best ways to break them up before they consummated the marriage. She knew that couldn't happen though... She wanted Sandor there, to help protect her from the worst of the cruelties of King's Landing. She knew it was selfish, to want him to help ease her into a better part of life, but she couldn't help it. She would let this man into her life, would do anything he asked at this point just to get a little relief from this hell she'd been going through.

Still, there was even more than just that to worry about. She had so much she needed to process at this point. She was a married woman now, with a husband and a new duty that didn't include giving the King his heirs. She was starting a whole new part of her life. It should have been thrilling, but instead she vaguely dreaded the idea. Not that it would be with Sandor, but it was the fact she would have yet another person that could be used against her in King's Landing. She already knew that she would do anything to keep him alive; she did marry him after all...

Eventually, Shae nudged Sansa and told the redhead, "It's almost time for the feast."

That made her stomach flip with a whole new set of nerves. She wasn't scared that she had to face the court as Lady Clegane or that it was likely Sandor would shove all the food into his mouth without thinking of any manners. No, it was Joffrey that had her in a nervous wreck. He could control whatever would happen at dinner tonight. He could embarrass both of them in any way he wanted, he could kill her and Sandor both, and, even worse, he could make Sandor take her then and there at dinner.