One shots

I am happy

Hi mom. It's me, Lily. It's been another year without you by my side and I think it's slowly growing easier. I have made some new friends who will have my back all the way and I am getting good grades in school like you wanted. How is it like up there? Is it pretty? Are you watching over me? Are you watching over Dad too? Are we doing well Mom?

Because I feel horrible everyday of my life. I killed my mom my mom would be alive if I wasn't alive. How can I live? But I know that you wouldn't be happy to know that so I try my best to go on to the next day.

Am I a daughter you are proud of yet? Are proud to say I am your daughter? Did you know that I worry everyday if I made the right decision on waking up tomorrow? You do, right?

But despite everything, despite the hardships of losing a mother-figure, going through the guilt of killing someone, going through a whole bunch of poo, I am actually really happy right now. I am happy that my dad is still by me, that I have friends who care for me, that I hopefully made you proud. I am happy that I am here and. Living strong and healthy. So watch over me, Mom, ok? Keep a close eye and take care of me. Because I know that with you by my side, I am invincible. I love you.

I put down the white lilies, her favorite flowers, and wiped my remaining tears. Slowly, I turned around and walk back home.