The Price of Blood

Letter to Isolla from Valenus

Letter to Isolla from Valenus

My dearest Isolla

By the time you wake, I shall not be by your side for reasons I do not wish to state but feel I must.

You once spoke to me of demons, of my demons and that you perhaps sensed that they were present. The truth is yes, you are right, I do have my demons and as much as I fear them, they are there hiding in the darkness.

I lied to you and that in itself is unforgivable. My lie was when I led you to believe I had nothing to do with your husband's death but the truth is that I caused it and was his executioner and I fear that if I stay, the same will happen to you.

Even if by some miracle, you could forgive such a disturbing act, I fear you could not forgive what it is I am about to tell you for I believe with all my heart that you and you alone deserve the truth.

I was once a man of honour but since have become a monster, not just a man but a monster lurking in the shadows.

By now you may have guessed what I am about to tell you but still I must tell you the truth. Your husband was not the first murder I have committed, all for the same purpose that is no less than monstrous. I have a hunger, a lust if you will that is not for food or the company of women or the taste of alcohol, if it were any of those things, I would not feel the need to run from you.

I have a thirst that no wine or water my sate. Instead, I feed from something much more dangerous, the blood of humans like yourself.

The thing I have become... it sickens me. I feel sickened by my own monstrous acts and yet powerless to stop it, powerless to end the hunger that has been awakened. I did not know the thing I would become, the curse I have placed upon myself.

What you see when you look at me, the man with tanned skin and beautiful eyes is merely a mask to draw you in and once I drew you in, you drew the monster out.

I have resisted for what feels like a lifetime but is so little time however I fear that if I stay, it will be the end of your life and that is something I do not want and cannot accept nor will I ask or make you join me for your soul is precious, pure and should not be tarnished by my curse.

I cannot stand the thing I have become, sunlight burns on my skin, the name of your lord rings in my ears and your necklace of silver burns me to touch.

If I truly care for you, this is the kindest thing I can do for this means I cannot harm you, this means I will not let the monster come for you. The last thing I wanted was to leave you but what I realised was worse was one day waking up to your body, cold and lifeless because of me. If I know anything, it is that I love you, Isolla and therefore only want what is right for you.

I shall potentially live several lifetimes, you shall live only one lifetime but I have left you with your choices, your possibilities. Now you can remarry, find a man worthy of your love, settle down and have the family of your dreams, something that being something like me would rob you of.

Forgive me, my love for I cannot allow you to give up that which is precious over something like me, not a man but a monster for that is all I am and I fear all I shall be. There are no others who know the darkness like myself and my brothers, none who know its cruel twists and turns and to subject an innocent soul to it would break me to the point of no return for I fear for you, Isolla, even as I write this now with you so close, I can hear your blood and hear its song.

I am a monster, a thing to fear, not a man just a monster and you, you are a wonderful woman who is perhaps too kind, too trusting. If I truly care, I shall leave you while I can before I kill you.

Yours always

Valenus.