Love Me Curvy

Part 7 - Revised

Erin

"Hey, Erin are you alright?"

Snapping from my thoughts, I look over at the intense stares from my friends. I wasn't aware I am lost in my own world until they called my name. It's Wednesday night and we're having our weekly get-together.

Mentally shaking my head, I glance between them. "Yeah, of course."

"Are you sure?" Julie asks concerned and disbelieving. "You know you could tell us anything right?"

I lock onto their worried gazes. Hoping to ease their fear I give them my best smile. "I know. I just have a lot on my mind right now."

There is no perfect way to tell my friends about the craziness swirling in my mind. It's been six long days since I last saw Caden. I haven't encountered him since Kale's birthday party and I'm not sure I want to. I'm afraid that if I see him again I won't be able to keep a smile on my face. Because every time I think about Caden, all I see is him leaning in to kiss my sister.

At one point I really believed that he may be interested in me. Maybe it's because his bright green eyes would sparkle whenever he saw me, or how he would play with my hair so tenderly or the way he would caress my cheeks with such tenderness making my heart race, that made me believe I might be special to him.

Yet, now I know that all those signals were only fragments of my imagination playing tricks on me. I understand that I have no reason to hope for something more and when I did, it became my downfall.

I'm embarrassed at myself for even considering that Caden saw me as more than his nephew's homeroom teacher. I honestly don't know how I should act when I see him again. Faking allergies is one thing, but how long can I keep this pain in my heart hidden away?

Feeling contact on my hand, I look down to see Cherry's hand grasping mine firmly. "Erin, you know that you can rant to us all you want, right, that's what we're here for. Don't bottle in all your feelings. You always do that, and it concerns us."

Julie nods at Cherry's words. I'm so grateful to have two of the best friends in the world who care so much about me, I couldn't ask for anything more. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do without them, but at the same time, I don't want to burden them with my problems.

Lightly giving Cherry's hand a squeeze, I reply truthfully. "Thanks girls, but I'm ok. I'm just glad that I have the greatest friends in the world." They return my smile, but I can tell they hope to know what's been bothering me. However, they also know not to push the topic any further and for that I am grateful.

Instantly Cherry's hand slips away from mine and instead her palm slams loudly against the table the noise echoing through the diner. A few heads turn in our direction, but she doesn't care. I am ready to ask what the slap is for when she suddenly shouts with excitement. "Alright, we'll wait until you're ready to tell us, but since my bestie is sad let's go out and let loose this weekend."

Oh no, I hope she's not suggesting what I think it is.

"Let's go clubbing!" Cherry exclaims happily.

I groan in frustration as Julie chuckles at us. They both know how much I dread the partying and drinking life. I was never a fan of it. It amazes me that Cherry enjoys that life and never gets bored of it. However, she's always been someone who loves to let loose and get a little crazy every now and then. Julie usually just goes with the flow and I'm always the one tucked in the corner trying to avoid everyone.

I peek up at Cherry to see her fingers crossed in a praying stance and her eyes sparkling with excitement. How can I say no when she looks so happy? My desire to go is not strong but the yearning of drowning away my pain with alcohol sounds so appealing. Why should I sit here dwelling over a man that doesn't know I even exist? Just thinking about it makes my body boil with anger.