Altschmerz

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n. weariness with the same old issues that you've always had—the same boring flaws and anxieties you've been gnawing on for years, which leaves them soggy and tasteless and inert, with nothing interesting left to think about, nothing left to do but spit them out and wander off to the backyard, ready to dig up some fresher pain you might have buried long ago.

I wondered if it was the only person who felt this way.

Finding remedy in the pain.

When have I become to familiar with pain?

The wounds,

That never seem to heal,

The scars,

That never seem to fade. 

My smiles are etched with pain.
Will I ever be

A genius of smiles?

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