Miracles Eyes

| You Aint Shit | 1

Thou Shall NOT Stress Over
Inconsistent Ass Niggas

"WHO IS SHE!" I Screamed
. The Tears I Promised To Never Cry Again Over This Man Seemed To Endlessly Fall. He Looked Up From His Game Confused, His Eyes Traveled My Body And A Look Of Guilt Covered His Face Once His Eyes Landed On His Phone Clenched In My Hands. Everything Was Going Fine. We Spent The Whole Day At The Park We Laughed And Talked, I Even Tried To Talk Him Into Getting A Legit Job Instead Of Being Out Here Selling Drugs I Feel Like If You Gone Do It Do It Right. He Still Out Here On The Corners, When My Best Friend Fiancé Chris And His Brother Jay Were King Pins At The Age Of Eighteen. The Most Feared Men In The State, After Chris's Brother Jay Went To Jail They Gave That Life Up And Started Making Legal Money Due To All The Businesses They Own. Don't Get It Twisted Though They Were Still Feared By Many, Willing To Shoot Anybody Who Got Out Of Line. Their Name Still Held Weight And They Still Had Ties To The Streets."Nobody" He Interrupted My Thoughts. He Stood Up Making His Way Closer To Me. "She Aint Nobody Miracle " I Sensed Some Annoyance In His Voice "I Hate You Kevin" I Backed Up, I Was Tired Of Him Lying To Me Over And Over Again.We've Been Through So Much I Don't Know Why He Cant Just Love Me And Only Me. My Back Hit The Wall " STOP LYING To ME" I Launched His Phone Across The Room And Watched It Smash Against A Picture Frame Causing Both Of Them To Fall And Shatter. He Looked At His Broken Phone Then Back At Me "Now If I Break Yo Phone Ima Be In The Wrong Right" I Ignored Him. I Have A Real Job I Can Easily Buy Me A New One, I Don't Know Why He Was Tripping Anyway Its Not Like That Was His Only Phone. I Finally Opened My Mouth To Speak "You Said This Time Would Be Different" He Sighed, What Was He Sighing For I Don't Know Especially Considering I Was The One Being Cheated On.I Was Hurt. Eight Years On And Off But Still Ive Been With Him And He Still Doing The Same Shit From When We First Met " Miracle Im Sorry" His Calmness Only Made Me Angrier " You're Always Sorry. You're Always Sorry Because You're Always Fucking Another Female" This Was Nothing New, Probably The Fifth Or Sixth Girl He's Cheated On Me With This Month "Why Kevin?Why Do You Keep Hurting Me? If You Cant Be Faithful Why Are We Together?Why Cant You Just Be With Me And Just Me? Why Do You Keep Doing This To Me?" I Threw Question After Question Never Receiving An Answer Just A Hug " Did You Sleep With Her" The Text Thread In His Phone Answered All My Questions, Even Telling Me Where He Was On The Friday He Canceled Our Movie Date But I Wanted To Hear This One From Him. "Yes Im Sorry" He Whispered Before He Began Kissing Me On My Neck."You Aint Shit" I Was So Upset. He Ignored Me And Continued Kissing On My Neck, Im Not Gone Lie That Neck Kissing Use To Get To Me But Not Anymore.Im Over It, It Was Clear He Didn't Care About Me But I Loved Him Not As Much As I Use To But I Still Had Love For Him." I Have To Go Home Its Getting Late" I Sighed. Nothing Was Solved But I Shouldn't Be Surprised Because When He Fucks Up We Never Talk About It. I Yell, Scream And Might Even Cry, He Says He's Sorry, We Have Sex Then Everything Goes Back Normal For A Few Days Until He Decides To Fuck Up Again. Only Difference This Time Is We Didn't Have Sex. I Haven't Had Sex With Him In Months.I Pushed Him Away From Me And Ran My Fingers Through My Hair " I Would Say Call Me But" He Trailed Off Chuckling. I Didn't See Anything Funny, I Grabbed My Wallet And Car Keys. " I'll Stop By" I Gave Him A forced Smile Before Heading Towards The Front Door. The Whole Ride To My Apartment Was Silent No Music Just Me And My Thoughts. I shouldn't Have Ever Had Sex With Him.I Made A mental Note To Make An Appointment To See My Gynecologist When I Get Home. I Just Wanted To Get Home And Get Some Rest I Was Tired. Physically And Emotionally. My Apartment As Usual Was Semi Dirty, College Papers As Well As Some Books, Shopping Bags. I Figured Since I Had Nothing Else To Do Id Study And Clean Up. My One Bedroom Apartment Was Perfect For Me, Nothing Too Big And Nothing Too Small. After Studying I Laid In Bed Thinking. I Did Love Kevin But Not In The Same Way Anymore. I Was Tired Of His Shit. I Didn't Care To Be With Him Anymore.