"He Didn't..." "He Did."

1

Shall we start with how I've now managed to acquire my fiftieth tardy slip of the month? (Thanks for the good news E-mail, you certainly haven't failed to excite my otherwise completely uneventful mornings) (ah, sweet sarcasm). Yes, because that would be an ideal place to start.

Why, you may ask, am i late yet again? (Just trust me when I say that this time, it's DEFINITELY not my fault) (neither were the last forty nine, but who cares?) (does a traffic jam qualify as my fault?).

It's as if my morning can't get any worse:

1. Jill, my editor, is demanding to know why my article on insurance policies isn't on her desk yet (my job sucks. I wish I could write for 'Mascot lifestyle' rather than 'Mascot business') (clearly, in Jill's words, you can't have everything in life)

2. I have a zit the size of mount Everest on the tip of my nose (I kid you not)

3. None of my colleagues (except Nadine) want to meet my eye (so it was my turn to bring in donuts) (and I kind of forgot) (I know, who forgets donuts?) (plus I was late) (I'm sorry?)

4. Oh, and did I mention my mother's in town? ( And demanding to meet the 'boyfriend' I'd written to her about?) (the one that I PROMISED I was not lying about?) (God help me!).
Which brings me to

5. Where the hell am I going to find a guy to play my 'boyfriend'? (Because, of course, he technically doesn't exist).

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