If I can't have you(ManxMan)

Chapter 22: Sympathy for The Devil

hey guys. I know y'all don't wanna hear this but it needs to be said to try and understand Blake.

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-Blake-

"Mr. Scott?"

I looked up at the voice that interrupted my thoughts. The seedy bounty hunter who seemed to not know what shampoo was for stepped in my office. I glared and told him to shut the door. How could he show up here at my place of work dressed like that? I already have my bosses on my back for the whole "cop" incident, and now that my leave time was over and I returned, he comes in here looking like a common thug.

"I told you not to come into my work." I growled.

"Sorry but, I've found him."

I put down the sharp letter opener I was twisting into my desk and gave the man my full attention. He sensed the change of attitude and smiled as he put his junky laptop on my desk and turned it around.

"Whats this?" I asked.

"I've tracked him with the chip."

"Chip? What chip?"

"The one in the dog."

I looked at him then back at the screen and grinned. Since I waited outside Jamie's house for days I grew frustrated. I was sure I had lost him. But now. Here he was. It was just to easy. I asked where my Jamie was and frowned at the answer. Why the hell did he go to Montana?

"Alright. Go get him and bring him, here." I replied as I handed him coordinates. "You'll get paid the rest when I have him."

"What do I do if he tries to run?"

"...Do whatever you must. But he is to be kept alive."

"Yes sir. I understand."

"Oh and Brady? Disobey an order again, and i'll slice the skin off your face."

I smiled as he averted his eyes to the floor and nodded slightly. There was just something about seeing a grown man scared of me, that made me feel dominant. Like an alpha male. It made me feel, Alive.

Stupid brat. Made me spend all this time and money, for what? He knows I won't give him up. When I gave him that ring he wore around his neck, he knew that this was forever. He knew that I had needs. Needs he couldn't or wouldn't take care of. Either way, we was in this together. Of course I knew about the whole, HIV Positive thing. I didn't think he'd ever run. Especially when he found out he was infected. I had thought he'd run back to me and cry and we would go through it together. But no. He had to throw his little bitch fit and drive away. I have to remember to take his car keys away next time.

I sighed deeply and then got up and walked to my couch. I climbed up on it and stared down at the glass coffee table. I then grabbed my left foot and jumped. My knee broke through and a audible crunch was heard. I yelled and then bit it back. I hit the floor and gritted my teeth. The crap I go through to be with this kid. And what do I get? Him constantly nagging about how I don't love him. If only he could see what I do.

Once I was in the ER and a cast drying, my boss called and told me to take all the time I needed. I assured him I wouldn't be long, but I was sure he didn't want to be sued. The standard issued couch stuck out and "tripped" me into the dangerous table. I was sure I would be getting a nice bonus this year.

I was discharged and took a town car to my apartment. Ever since the whole "incident" the neighbors seem to give me the stink eye. But I couldn't care less. Let them glare all they wanted. They couldn't touch me.

I packed a bag and set it at the door for an early departure tomorrow morning. I was confident my guy would bring him to me quickly. If he didn't, I would just have to have him "replaced." I took my clothes off and popped a pain pill or two and closed the blinds in my room. I lay on my bed and hoped I didn't have the dream again.

That damned dream that haunts me.

It always start the same.

Ten year old me and a little girl with long black hair and a red ribbon. We laugh and play. Her squeals make me laugh as I push her on the swing. But then the sun disappears. Darkness. A man comes and towers over us. Blocking out the sun.

"Thats a pretty ribbon." He comments.

He then hands me a leash. "Watch my puppy will you? Don't worry. I'll push her." He says. I look down at the tiny puppy and turn back. They're gone.

"Blake! Help me! Someone Help Me! Blake!"

I turned to the screams but theres on one there. Those screams in thin air. Haunting me. I'm all alone and I can't find her. I can't move. I try but my muscles won't let me. I'm stuck. Finally I can move and I run. I run to the place I know she'll be. She's always there. I run to the pond. She's laying there in the shallow water amongst the grass. Eyes blue, staring at me.

"Cellie?" I hear myself say. "Celia?"

"Why'd you leave me Blake? Why didn't you come? I called for you. You left me alone! Why'd you let me leave!"

"What?" I ask groggily into the phone.

"I'm here. There's a lot of men milling about. I'm at some ranch. I'll find a way to lure him away. But boss. He's with some man. They're in the same room together."

"Get him at any cost." I replied.

"You got it boss."

I hung up then got up and walked to the bathroom. I rinsed my face off with cold water to wipe away the sweat. I stared at myself in the mirror. I did this. I left her alone. I let her leave. I wouldn't make that mistake twice.

I grabbed a glass and filled it with some water. I took some pain pills and then the other pills for my "disease" the doctors prescribed. I put them all in my hand and swallowed hard. The cocktail was quite tiresome. So many rules and directions. I looked at the lone bottle of pills that caught my eye. I smiled mirthlessly and tossed the bottle in the trash.

No shrink was going to keep me from feeling happy. No matter what they say. Besides. I didn't need to take those pills anyway. I was fine. I just needed to keep Jamie safe. He is all I needed. He is all I will ever need. He just had to see it my way and then we could live peacefully.

For now, I suppose I should get some sleep. Sleep. What a joke.

***

Wasn't sure if I wanted to post this right away but thought, what the heck. I'm excited to see your reactions.

P.s. this story is almost at an end! Thanks for sticking with me guys!!!! and thank you all for your comments. xD I find them quite amusing. lol.