If I can't have you(ManxMan)

Chapter 6

Okay so I am seriously lacking but I just found out that I have a very good chance of being bipolar and I already do have depression which I am taking pills for. Apparently I have to keep taking them instead of thinking of them as an antibiotic where I was getting better...

Anyway...

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I woke up momentarily confused when I looked at the unfamiliar bedroom setting. I quickly realized that I was in my old room which had been converted into a guest room. I sat up and grabbed my phone and checked my messages which were all from Blake. I cringed as I listened to the first message.

"You moron! You answer your fucking phone and get your ass back here right now! You weren't suppose to actually leave you idiot! I swear if you make me come and find you, you will be sorry!"

I shut my phone off and ignored the rest of the messages. I didn't need to deal with that right now. He didn't sound like he was getting help and he didn't know where I was so I figured I would be safe for now.

I grabbed some clean clothes and walked across the hall to the bathroom. I relieved myself and jumped into the shower. I closed my eyes and sighed as the warm water calmed my aching bones and muscles and then I got out of the shower and quickly dressed without looking in the mirror. I didn't want to see the damage done to my body.

I walked downstairs and stood in the kitchen awkwardly. I looked over to and saw my parents quietly conversing with each other as they ate some breakfast. My dad looked up and smiled. He told me to sit and have some breakfast with them.

I sat and my mom put and plate in front of me. I smiled when I saw she made me the waffles I used to eat as a child. My waffles had a face made out of whip cream and berries. My mom poured me some orange juice. I started eating right away, not realizing how hungry I was.

"What happened?" my father asked, breaking the silence around us. I swallowed my food hard and started to talk.

"Blake. I don't know. We were fine and then... I was so scared." I whispered.

"You don't have to be scared anymore, son. We will protect you." Dad said as he took hold of my hand.

After that we had a small and deep talk about my life. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was HIV positive because that is exactly the stereotype they told me would happen if I "chose" to be gay. It was just a very bad choice that Blake had made. He made the decision to cheat and give me a disease. That just gave all of us a bad name.

I came to the conclusion that I would stay in town and work for my dad until I figured out what to do with my life.

My parents went to work and left me to rest. The only problem was that I couldn't rest. Blake sounded very angry on the voice mail and there was many more messages from him. I was constantly peeking out the window from behind the drapes to see if I could see any suspicious activity.

I jumped about a mile in the air when the phone rang. It had been forever since I had heard an actual home phone. I slowly walked over to the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey son, I was calling to check up on you. I don't know what your cell number was so I figured I'd call the home phone." my dad said.

"Oh, well my number is-. I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch dad." I said ashamed.

"I'm sorry for how your mother and I acted. The past is the past, and the present is a gift. So let's not waste it, okay?"

"Yeah dad."

With that we ended the call with an awkward 'love you.'

I sighed and then got up to dig through my bag and get my medication. One was for my pain and the other was for my STD. I almost lost it but I pulled up my big boy pants and had to man-up.

I made myself a sandwich and sat down at the couch and turned on the television. I had just settled on the couch when the doorbell rang. I groaned and got up grumpily.

I opened the door and my jaw dropped as I saw him. Him, the first boy I ever crushed on, and got crushed from.

"Hey, Jamie!"

"Jackson?" I said shocked.

He moved in and hugged me tight. Jackson picked me up and laughed lightly. He finally let me go and looked at me as he stepped back.

"I heard you were back! I've missed you so much." He exclaimed.

"You did?" I asked slightly confused.

"Of course, why would you ask?" Jackson said with a look of sadness.

"Well last time we talked you called me a fag and said you hope Blake and I burn in hell."

"I'm sorry. I never meant any of it. I was just mad at the choice you made and that I let you go. I was jealous and I looked for you the next day but...you had already left with... With HIM." Jackson admitted.

"But now your back. I have to tell you Jamie. I've been denying myself for a very long time but now I am ready. I am ready to confess. Jamie I-"

"Jackson-"

"No. I need to say this. Even if I never see you again I have to tell you. Jamie I love you. I've loved you since we were kids. I've loved you since you gave me your box of animal crackers. I've loved you since you gave me my first valentines day card.

I haven't stopped loving you since. I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. I hated that I let you go that day. I hated everything I said. I love you."

Holy shit.

Jackson just confessed his love for me. This six foot five, mocha skinned, honey brown eyed, hunk just confessed his love for me. And those abs. Holy crab those six pack.

"Jackson. I don't know what to say." I finally said after breaking from my trance. All those muscles.

"Don't say anything. Just give me a chance. One date, please." He asked while he grabbed my hands.

I looked down and was immediately mesmerized by the contrast of his dark skin against my lily white skin. Before I knew it, I was saying yes. Jackson had to get back to work and tweaked my chin before leaving and saying he would come back and make plans for our date.

When my dad came home for lunch he asked what I did the morning. I told him I ate and then agreed to meet up with Jackson.

"Jackson? Jackson Bailey?" Dad asked.

"Yeah. He heard I was back and came here to talk. He apologized and said, uh, he wanted us to be friends again. I agreed to meet with him to weekend."

"Oh,okay. Be careful around him okay? Things changed when you left." Dad said as he walked into the kitchen.

'What exactly changed?' I asked myself.

***

Whoo, writing on an ipad is far better than writing on my phone.