We Lack a Word

DRAFT DODGERS KILL COW

Just before the last few months of Indian summer had taken with them the color and ebbing warmth of sunny autumn afternoons, and quick brisk evenings. ..

Just before the small cries of distant children under piles of dirty leaves that were blankets of smelly warmth...

Just before the streetlights were turned on, dogs barked and smoke could be seen in the chimneys. ..

Jan left the group. He left Pittsburgh. He left the steel. He left the shops and headed for Ontario.

It was just beginning to get chilly as he, Peter and Barbara found an old farmhouse somewhere in the forest many miles from Kingston. They rented the old building and planned on staying there through the winter. They only remained three months but it seemed much longer. They watched the sunrise and the sunset. They knew no days, no time and were only vaguely aware that there was still civilization twenty miles away.

In the middle of a field, a colorless road led into the bush, a stone fence that was a pile of rocks. They spent a piece of their lives together.

He said it was a hard time. They had no money or food and lacked any proper tools or equipment for staying alive.

One day after smoking for hours, they began to manufacture spears. They would scrape pieces of rock for hours and shape it with jags. They gathered together coils of string, and reeds and bits of wire and would go down to the stream and hunt or fish. When they didn't catch any, their time was spent gathering bullfrogs, very large twisted-looking bullfrogs with bulging eyes.

When they caught one, it would scream in a terrifying way. They whined in a high-pitched shriek and the first few times this occurred Peter and Jan were so frightened by the sound they would drop their frogs. Barb held on to hers and soon each had two by the legs and would mimic their fear attempting to get them to harmonize. They dragged these screaming terrors home, set up a ritual for death and chopped off their heads as they screamed into the frozen mud.

A herd of cows crossed the fence and were on their land just before the first snowfall. Peter and Jan and Barbara dressed up in bizarre costumes and would laugh and holler chasing the worn out cows around the enclosed area. The farmer in the neighboring farm would have delivered buckshot to their door if he knew his beef were over-exercising and losing weight.

One day seven or eight of the cows wandered away from the main part of the herd. Peter decided to make cow calls to them to see if they would come. He performed authentic "Mooos" because the cows stormed at top speed through the shoulder high grass and the three homesteaders crouched low in delight. They would have been stampeded had they not jumped up at the last minute and shrieked at the top of their lungs.

The cows were terrified and near panic. One melted on the spot and the others barely escaped the shock. They dragged this old lady back to the house and allowed her to participate in the frog ritual. They cleaned the body and carved the meat.

Two nights later they invited the neighboring farmer for dinner. He asked if they had seen any of his herd straying around the land. He said it was getting colder and he wanted to get them all into the barn. They told him "no" and sat down to enjoy dinner.

With a glass of beer in hand and a strong healthy appetite, the farmer's jaw dropped as Jan and Peter entered the kitchen carrying a roasted carcass of fine beef. Barbara smiled and began to laugh as the stocky farmer choked, mouth blubbering.

His broken glass lay on the floor and the beer foamed over his worn grey trousers.