I Long to Belong

What now??

            After first period Callie and I have PE together. Today we were going to walk the track, honestly I was fine with that, I didn't feel like doing a lot of physical activity. I was sooo anxious to tell her because I didn't know if she was going to freak or what. "Hiya Jennn!!!"  I turn around to the creature following me "We need to talk, its URGENT!!" I whisper as quietly as I can. I couldn't wait until we got home, what if it was too late by then.  "Ok Callie, I know I told you I would tell you at home, but this can't wait." "Spit it out already Jen!!" Then I told her, "So you know how Jake died and everyone is talking about it. Well I have a letter from Jake." She looked around the track (we were still on our first lap and everyone was in front of us) , "Jen what the potatoes are you talking about?? He's dead!!!  Jesus rose from the dead, are you crazy, Jake can't do that, he can't rise like Jesus!!!" "Callie Callie Callie!! I'm talking before he died, he wrote letters before he died!" "Ohhhhhhhh....HOW CAN I BELEIVE YOU???!!" I pulled out the letter with his words on it:

         Dear Jen,                     

Hey beautiful, I know that by now if you're reading this I'm gone. I'm sorry I left without te(L)ling you sorry. I feel aweful these l(A)st few days, that I don't get to see you. I know you may th(I)nk that I'm lying but I'm not. When I met you, from that moment you were the most important person in my life. I felt that I could tell you my life sto(R)y, my faults, my ups and downs. You may think 'This guy's crazy' I am. Let me tell you, From 6th grade in beginning band was when I met you. I remem(B)er wondering "What is this shy girl gonna do in pe(R)cussion? This isn't her place." But I talked to you, I discovered that you talked and that's when you became m(Y) help. You were the one I asked for help all the time. I didn't use you in any way shape or form. You were my friend, my best friend inside. I don't want you to end up like I did, follow these letters that will come in the next few days.    

                                           JAKE 

(You'll find it Jen)♡♡

---"WHAT!?!?!"---"Callie, keep your voice down, the whole world can hear you." I told her. "That is impossible, strictly impossible, who gave this to you, tell me Jen!!" Callie simply could not Shut Up. This is the classic Callie I tell you. DANG, everyone turned around and looked at us; even the teacher. "Oh, guys it nothing. It's just her lipstick, it fell out of her bag on her way here!! See!!" I said grabbing her lipstick out of her pocket. The class fell for it and their eyes steered away. That was a close one. Even though the excuse was a crappy one, and probably thought to be bias by many. It was good for now. "I'm sorry Jen." "It's ok I'll let it pass, but come home with me so nobody will hear us." She turned away and looked at me. Callie agreed, the rest of the period we just walked around the track in silence.
The day went on until BAND. In 7th period I didn't know that I was going to feel like the end of the world. Where do I go??, What am I doing here??, Why??. I was like a drum head about to be ripped, broken, by the next strike of a stick. I was going to need some fixing, a new head.