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Chapter 3

I get up from the bed and look at myself naked in the mirror. James is lying on my bed, cigarette still in his mouth. He watches me fiercely as I stand up, watching the every move of my body. His eyes travel up and down my body, not that it takes long anyway considering how short I am.

I put my hands on my hips and sigh, hating how curvy my body looks in the mirror. I look back to James, silently hoping for some sort of assurance into how I look. He stays completely silent, refusing to offer any form of compliment. I turn back to the mirror and sigh again, hating how I look.

"I'll never be skinny" I say to myself, perfectly aware that James can hear me.

"What's your point?" He replies without effort.

I turn to him and walk back to the bed, "That I wish I was thinner".

He stays silent before getting up and out of the bed just as I go to join him. He puts his cigarette in my mouth, then heads out of the room.

I shout out to him, "Thanks James – that makes me feel so much better".

He ignores me completely, and I hear him opening and closing doors in another room. I ignore him and wallow in my own self pity.

James returns with his hands full. He chucks a block of chocolate my way then uses his free hands to open up the bottle of wine that he bought with him.

I smile slightly as I say, "You know, chocolate and wine doesn't actually help someone lose weight".

Again, he doesn't say anything. All he does is shrug. He hands me the bottle and waits for me to take a swig. I eagerly take the bottle and give him his cigarette back. I smile excitedly at the bottle. It had become one of my most prized possessions and I was always the first to crack open a bottle of anything alcoholic.

As I take a drink, feeling the sweet liquid travel down my throat, I see James smile out of the corner of my eyes.

I stop drinking to ask, "Why are you smiling?"

"Because it makes you so happy" He replies. I roll my eyes then shuffle over so that he can sit next to me on the bed. He joins me. I offer him some wine and chocolate. He refused the chocolate but takes a drink from the bottle before handing it back into my trusted hands.

I look at the bottle, then ask, "Where did you get this anyway?"

He yawns and goes to lie down, half resting his head on me, "Found it in the cupboard".

I immediately pull away from him, "Not from the top shelf?"

He moves back closer to me before replying, "Sounds about right".

"Fuck" I immediately freak out.

He looks up at me and asks what's wrong.

"My parents bought that as my aunts birthday present tonight! We don't have time to buy another bottle – they got it from some special winery!" I tell him.

He licks his lips and replies, "Hmm, Your parents have nice taste".

I hit him softly, "James, be serious! What am I going to do?"

"Just drink the rest of the bottle, we'll just refill it when you're done with it" he replies likes it's a simple solution.

I question him, "Refill with what?"

He shrugs, "We'll find something. Don't act like you don't have a stash of alcohol here somewhere".

"My stash doesn't have enough to fill a whole bottle of wine James. And I can hardly mix wine with vodka!" I tell him, still really worried about what I will do.

"Fuck fine. Just drink the whole bottle, I'll take it home with me and you play innocent when you're parents get home. When they ask, you don't know what happened or where it is, okay?" He suggests smugly.

I dispute him again, "James, I can't do that. I'm the only one home since they last saw the bottle, they'll know it's me! They can't know I drink, okay!"

He sighs and reminds me, "You're an adult, you can drink if you want to".

I shake my head, "No, I can't. I can't destroy their image of me! Anyone else, I don't give a fuck, but no, not them".

He sighs, giving in. He brings the bottle back to my lips, only encouraging me to drink. I accept defeat, and in no time the bottle is empty. My fear of what would happen is gone, and I am as happy as ever. Loving the buzz alcohol gives to me, I smile to myself and touch James lovingly by caressing his hair.

He stays still for a moment, then takes the empty bottle from my hand. He gets up out of bed, and I'm so intoxicated that I don't even care. I can hear him walking back to the kitchen and turning on the tap. A few doors open and close, and moments later, he returns empty handed.

I get excited when he comes back. I motion him to me. He joins me in bed.

"Time for a nap?" He asks me, opening up his arms to me.

I happily wiggle over to him, feeling on top of the world. I fall asleep in his arms, feeling happy, intoxicated and safe.