Best Friends, Right? (Boyxboy)

Chapter 18> Jupiter

"So, what is wrong with me?"

"We think you may have BPD due to the symptoms you described."

"What the hell is that? Oh my god, am I gonna die? Jupiter I'm gonna die," Blaise said, freaking out.

"No you're not, idiot, calm down."

"It's borderline personality disorder. Have you done any irrational things lately," the doctor asked Blaise.

"Like what," Blaise replied, dumbly.

"Like... have you had problems controlling your anger? Or have you been angry for a completely irrational reason?"

I saw his face distort into one of thinking. He furrowed his eyebrows. Then, like a light bulb went off in his head, he relaxed his face and nodded.

"Okay. Have you had any unsafe sex, or unstable relationships?"

I froze.

Did he only come and apologize because of his disorder? Is that the only reason he kissed me?

No, stop thinking like that.

Slowly, he looked at me and nodded not breaking contact from my eyes.

"Both."

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face, letting my head hang. Never can one thing go right with another going wrong in my life.

I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. Like the walls are closing around me and I can't get out. I needed to get out of the room. Either that or have an attack in the same room as someone who could possibly tell my I'm a psychopath and I need to to in a mental institute.

"I just——I need to——I'll be back," I rush out before practically booking it out of the room and straight to my car.

For some reason Blaise had asked me to come here with him, even thought his mother came too. Now I know that was a bad idea. I wanted nothing but to leave. But, I couldn't. I had to stay because he is my best friend and I can't leave him in a time like this when he is so confused and scared. Even if it's mostly my fault.

So, I got out of the car and went to sit in the waiting room for the remainder of his session despite the choking feeling I had inside me. And when his session was over, I asked how it was and if he was going home with his mom. I offered him a ride home.

I tried to be the best friend I could, but it was hard when just when everything was looking bright, something bad had to happen. I know I'm being selfish, but I can't shake this feeling I have.

"They said I need therapy."

"Good, it'll help you," I replied, getting in the car. I started it, then pulled out onto the road towards Blaise's house.

"Are you staying over?"

"I can't." Lie. Well, half lie, I physically can't because I don't want to know what I'll end up thinking.

"Why," he asked, turning in the passengers seat to face me. I saw his face drop out of the corner of my eye.

"I just can't," I reply gripping the wheel tightly, and unconsciously beginning to drive faster.

"Why," he repeated.

"Because I fucking can't Blaise," I yell, causing him to flinch.

"Is this because of the reason you left during my session?"

I started driving faster.