What If? --Joshaya

What If

I was hoping no one would notice how I was feeling, but of course Riley did. She always did. So here we are now, sitting at the bay window. Nobody was home, just the two of us.

"Maya what's wrong lately?" I knew she was talking about Josh but I guess I just didn't know how to word it.

"I just.." I took a deep sigh. "Did you know someday is a long time?"

"Yea of course it is, but you've only got 3 more years." She tried to reason.

"I know I do, but it's still so hard. When we made that promise at the ski lodge, he'd be out there and I would be too. I understood that we'd both be dating around and seeing other people and if one day we're brought back together and both ready, someday would come."

Riley nodded her head as she tried to understand. "Neither of us is restricting the other."

"If you understand this then..what's got you feeling down?" She questioned.

"I'm scared. A lot can happen in 3 years. What if he finds a girl he really likes during those 3 years and he doesn't want me anymore? What if I find a guy I really like and I don't want him? There are just too many what if's." I shook my head trying to get rid of those thoughts.

She grabbed onto my hand. "Oh peaches. You'll see that 3 years passes by in a flash. If that does happen, then it happens. That's life telling you something. Life is beautiful that way. You never know what will happen, but it's trying its best for you."

Our talk was interrupted by a knock on the door. Riley smiled and headed to open the door.

"I'm glad you're here." She said to the frantic looking college boy in front of her. When did she have the time to text him?

"What's wrong?" Josh stepped inside the room looking slightly confused.

"Go over there," she pointed at the bay window, "and talk." She soon left the both of us in a silence we didn't know how to break.

"So.." I try to start off before Josh starts talking.

"It's scary for me too Maya." He admits. "I think of those what if's too. I don't want it to happen but if it does, then it does. Life knows where it's going. I don't want you to spend these next 3 years waiting for me so much that you forget to live in those moments." His words reminded me of the question Zay had asked him last time he came here.

He grabbed my hand in a way to comfort me.

"Is that why you were okay with me and Zay going to the movies and stuff with Riley and Lucas?" I questioned.

"I wasn't okay with it on the inside, but I know that you need this. I'm not going to stop you from hanging out with them just because I'm jealous that you get to go on double dates with them and I can't." I cracked a smile at that statement.

"So you're jealous." I smirked as I stared into his bright blue eyes.

"You love teasing me don't you." He too was staring deeply into my eyes.

"Every chance I get." I squeezed his hand.