My Silver Lining.

My Simple Start.

“Wa nikahtuha Wa qabiltuha…”

Instantaneously my eyes filled with tears as he repeated what was his vow to me, to love me for the sake of Allah.

I watched him nervously fiddle with his fingers and i wondered if they were as sweaty or as shaky as mine… he was usually incredibly composed in most situations… but a little anxiety wouldn’t be such a bad thing today, afterall we usually only fret over things that are very important to us. Mom always told me men don’t show their emotions much but if we look close enough we will always see the signs and sincerity in their actions if not their words.

He had been an anchor for me, a lighthouse in the darkest of times. I was very fortunate for Allah to have let his path cross with mine, He is truely The Best of Planners.

I met Safwan about a year and a half ago, after a very difficult divorce and many months of self inflicted emotional madness, i had been at the point of no return when he filtered into my life as a friend first. It had only been a couple weeks before i couldn’t help but begin to picture a future with him. He was everything i never thought i deserved and more.

There are no words worthy enough to describe the feeling in my heart or stomach for that matter when i realised that this was not the dream i had been waking up from for weeks, this was the real deal. I lifted my hands for dua and so did the few friends and family gathered around me.

Our Nikah was simple but beautiful. A small afternoon tea that had turned quickly from a proposal to ‘shotgun wedding’. All the formalities i had envisioned for our big day had faded away the moment i heard those words and knew i needed nothing but him to have the perfect ever-after. Maybe it was because of everything i had been through not so long ago; for the reason that suddenly none of the fancy stuff mattered anymore. I knew marriage was more than a big white dress and Maher Zain songs, it was feeling the way i did right now.

I was finally happy. and content. Alhamdullilah.

He rose from his chair and walked anxiously towards me. We hugged awkwardly surrounded by the excited gasps and words of love from those around us. I slid the now clammy ring onto his finger. His hands were sweaty too… i smiled to myself and vowed never to overlook the small things, ‘the signs’, and to always be patient and attentive enough to notice.

Ameen.