Don't Stop Loving Me || RAP MONSTER

| Chapter 8 |

"Are you free later? Maybe we could go get food~~"

Staring at his phone screen, Namjoon inspected his words. He wanted to seem excited at the idea of seeing her, but not too clingy. Because Hanna had already refused the date he had asked for yesterday, the boy was now getting nervous. When she had left his studio three days ago, her skin covered in his clothes and kisses, Namjoon had been certain they would meet again in no time. Yet the boy's schedule had been crazy as always, and the only time he had been able to make time for Hanna, she had refused, saying she was busy with work. Doesn't she want to see me?  He couldn't help but think. She didn't even ask when I was free.

To stop himself from getting more anxious, the rapper quickly sent his text. A few seconds went by, and the boy kept staring at the screen, hoping a huge yes would appear instantly. But the seconds were adding up, and there was still no answer. 

"Are you okay hyung?"

Jimin, who had caught Namjoon sigh in frustration, casually sat next to his leader.

"Yeah", answered the boy with a side smile, "don't worry about it."

The training room was filled with the boys and staff members, and yet Namjoon felt lonely in his anxiety. Even though Jimin had tried to help, Namjoon had decided he would not talk about Hanna to anyone anymore. He knew that if the company were to learn about the girl, things would get even more complicated than they already were, which te boy didn't need, and he didn't want to put his members in the position that they had to cover for him, or stand against the staff for him.  So Namjoon simply started a conversation with Jimin to pretend he was fine, keeping his phone in hand in case it would vibrate. The rapper soon got into work discussions, which helped put his mind off Hanna and  gain his confidence back. Namjoon was feeling good about the new concept of the album coming together. The boys had been working even harder than before on the conceptualization of the album because with their growing popularity was coming greater expectations. It was somehow as terrifying and exciting for the seven friends who were ready to come up with something innovative and inspiring.  And as he was getting passionate talking about work as it was everything on his mind, his phone buzzed.

"Food would be AMAZING right now but I'm actually on my way to the airport - gotta run to LA for a few days."

The boy stood still for a while, smply looking at the words without having any idea how to respond. If he had thought of every word he he put in his text for her, Hanna didn't seem to do so. She was sending so many mixed messages, that couldn't help Namjoon to know whether or not she was trully interested. She's leaving for LA, but didn't think about mentioning it? A fucking other continent - what happened to her 'see you soon"..? , the rapper thought and sighed again, thinking about the last time he had seen her, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. In fact, now that he was thinking about it, a lot of things had been wrong. Him being late, the boys showing up in the morning... If Namjoon wanted indication that Hanna had not been impressed, he had plenty in hand. He wasn't even mad at her now, almost understood. So he simply typed a quick "Okay" and pressed sent before even thinking about another answer. Namjoon was ready to put his attention back to the boys,listening to them and trying to catch up on the conversation, but to his surprise he got interrupted again. Hanna's name showed up on his screen, along with an invitation for a FaceTime call, which made the boy blush instantly. He got up in a stiff and quick way, making all eyes in the room turn to him.

'Um, gotta take this" he said in a cough, "I'll be right back"

Almost running out of the room, Namjoon made his way to the closest empty and quiet spot he could find and answered the call, trying to act cool

"Hey" he let out in an attempted chill tone before looking at the screen.

Hanna smiled when she met his eyes, and the boy blushed. She is so pretty, he thought as if he kept forgetting.  Her hair was tucked into a lose braid, falling on her right shoulder. Because she was about to be on a plane she didn't have any make up on, but Namjoon quickly got his attention away from her bare face when he spotted his hoody on Hanna's body.

"Hi" she said with a smile, yet in a worried tone. "I'm sorry for calling I just...I got the impression that you were, like, a little mad, so I just wanted to call and, hum, apologize?"

It was obvious that Hanna wasn't at ease. She was trying to find her words but kept being distracted by Namjoon's intense gaze, full of curiosity and hope, that made her want to simply stare at him.

"I'm sorry" she finally said in a laugh, "The truth is, I'm not good at texting. I never know how to get my ideas right, I mix things up, and it always comes out the wrong way. So I just thought I would call and, you know, say what I want to say to you. I hope I'm not bothering"

With every word the idol grew more relaxed, understanding that Hanna was way too intense about this discussion to be as indiferent as he thought she was about him.

"It's okay", he let out almost uncounciously. "I'm happy to see you"

"I'm happy to see you too", she replied instantly, a smile growing on her face. "Even though it's only through a stupid screen... Anyways, Minjoon and I have started working with a pretty big company and things have been pretty eratic. People got schedules messed up, orders wrong, and basically it's been crap. Things were getting so out of control that I had to take the first flight for LA, to get to the headquarters myself, so everything gets done right. I just booked it this morning, I'm sorry I didn't say anything, it looks like I don't care now."

"I understand", the boy quickly said to reassure her. "I mean, when I first got your text I did feel kinda bad, because I didn't really know what was happening. I thought you were ignoring me or something."

Even though she did not want to cause pain to the boy, Hanna was feeling happy that she had this impact on Namjoon, feeling bad simply over a text, because that meant that he cared for her probably as much as she cared for him. She let a silence settle after the boy had finished talking, simply smiling at him, before answering.

"I'm not ignoring you", Hanna said in a warm tone. "I've been thinking about you. Why do you think I've been sleeping in your clothes, even bringing it to a long ass flight to feel good?"

Saying it Hanna grabbed the boy's hoodie she was wearing, letting her head fall slightly on her shoulder so her cheek would meet the hoodie's fabric. Namjoon's heart started to race as quickly as his face turned red, now rememnering  the blond girl sleeping on his studio's sofa in his own piece of clothing, an image that had stayed in his head without a rest.

"Don't say things like that", Namjoon whined in a laugh, "it makes me want to see you."

The girl was about to respond but got interrupted by an annoucement of the airport, which she seemd to listen for an instant, before getting up.

"Gotta go", she said in an apologetic voice. "Sorry"

"It's fine" the boy said in a smile. "I guess, because you're so bad at texting, I shouldn't expect any from you?"

Hanna laughed, relieved that he was being comprehensive. "You right, don't text me expecting an answer. But call me and I'll pick up, boy"

The mere idea of calling her out of the blue made the boy shy. If Hanna wasn't good at texting, Namjoon wasn't good at calling. Even right now, even though he was trully happy to talk to her, he wasn't at ease.  The boy was a song-writer. He was used to carefully pick words, sentences to express his deas. In texting he could do that, think precisely about how to turn a conversation, the best answer that could be given. And yet looking at the blond girl, who seemed to let her words out even before checking with her mind, he thought that it would seriously be great to just rant with her on the phone.

"I will", he assured, letting a smirk grow on his cute face.

The last image he got of the FaceTime call, before hanging up, was Hanna's face lighting up at the boy's promise, which made him realize how he just could not wait to call her again.