Strange Times

Freak

Another Heavy Trigger Warning For this Chapter, Mainly Regarding Self Harm & Mental Illness.
Also Self Deprecation & Derogatory Language.

The Promp Proposed On Tumblr Was 'Reveal A Secret About My Muses Past'.
( He's also talking to BB, because I'm a slut for the ship LMAO bye )

A slight bobbing of his shoulders, a weak shrug.

" Yeah, well ... Now you do. "
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

But he already had. He had retold past truths that he'd never even bothered to discuss with professionals because he didn't want to be outed as some kind of FREAK. Even when he was caught by Roger, he refused to get help, opting to stay in the corner & sob, curling his fists & hitting his skull as hard as he was able to relieve his frustrations. When Roger had tried lifting Mello, guiding him to the nurses, Mello had barred his fangs & bit into Rogers hand before running upstairs & into the attic. He didn't come out for a few days, until the hunger pains in his stomach were too much to bare. He had done his best to keep himself calmed afterwords, but in fits of panic & rage he slipped right back out of his mind, loosing all control, curling in on himself to scream & punch bare thighs, or arms, or temples. Bruises blossomed from the marks, blood vessels bursting under his skin & blooming ugly reminders for months of how he felt, how he was stupid, how he couldn't even control his own hands. How he couldn't control anything.

" Whatever. No big deal, right ? Doesn't happen anymore. "

Liar.
He still did it. When stress built too high onto his shoulders he would react immediately by sinking his nails into his flesh, beating his own arms & legs, gripping too hard around his forearms & later tracing the scabs where nails had drawn blood & counting how many of his fingers had broken through skin when the bruises swam too close together.
But he couldn't let them know.
He didn't want to be outed as some kind of FREAK.