Dizzee for Thor "The Get Down"

don't be poisoned by fear, fear is poison

Dizzee couldn't exactly say why he kept the nail polish to the battle more than it matched the jackets. The red and blue bright as spray paint that no one seemed to notice...

No one except for Ra-Ra of course.

As if anyone could ever hope to hide anything from Ra. Yet his brother had choosen not to say anything for once. Waiting instead for the right moment.

As if there was such a thing.

He barely knew how to explain it to himself less so what he would eventually tell Ra. To used to having a purpose with everything he did to even know where to begin. Sure it was another form of art, but to be perfectly honest that wasn't why he did it. Kept doing it.

He liked it.

He liked the feeling it gave him whenever he looked down at his hands and saw something other than hands with occational stains from his nightly proclamations. It was a sense of freedom that took him to a new level. Like he was discovering a new species of aliens.

...And Thor liked it.

In a way you could say it all came back to that white boy. He had unbalanced Dizzee with a force that made him question himself rather than society. It made Dizzee feel more and more like Rumi in the worst kind of way. As through every step he took closer to Thor and the freedom he offered the closer Rumi got to the opera.

Still he didn't stop...Cuz he was a rebel. And rebels didn't stop for nothing. Not even when they hesitated. Even if they were more scared than exited.

Fear tainted his spirit in a way that made him unsure if he could defy it... It wasn't even the kiss itself or the paint on his nails, it was the sudden realisation that he was over his head. He was in a sea of the unknown.

Dizzee had always prided himself knowing what everyone else didn't. Yet Thor  hade made him stubble and suddenly he was running as blind as the rest. He had lost the essence of purpose and even now within the high of winning , a battle that for a moment had seemed impossible, he felt lost.

"Dizz!" Ra-Ra voice interrupted his thoughts. His tone as he said his name indicated that it hadn't been the first he said it.

It made Dizzee regret not splitting before Ra-Ra caught him alone.

"Are you okey?"

"Yeah," he meant to say more but words excaped him.

What was wrong with him?

"Lately you've been further away than you normally are... Did something happen?"

For a moment he wanted to tell his brother everything. From the club, the kiss and everything between then and now. Ra was the most likely of The Get Down Brothers to at least try to understand...But instead he forced on an easy smile as he clenched his hands to fists.

"Nah I'm good. Just..."

Just what?

Dizzee was not fooling nobody. The only thing he accomplished  with that half finsih sentense was to make Ra look even more worried.

"Marcus," it made his heart stop for a second hearing his brother use his legal name, "you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Ra's eyes looked meaningfully down at his fists  before meting Dizz's again.

"I know. I just... I just need time to figure things out."

"Okey," Ra smiled warmly clapping him on the back before he said that they needed to get back to the party.

He didn't feel better, but he didn't feel worse. He splitting a spliff with Shao and the gang he tried not to think about the fact that he and Thor hadn't kissed again.

They had moments where he thought maybe...before moments turned back to whatever was the opposite of that. He wasn't sure why when he could still see desire in those green eyes. It made his stomach twist even  when high when he thought about it. About kissing. About kissing Thor.

A/N was really just going to leave it as a one shot but got inspired when I noticed the nail polish at the battle after re-watching the series for what felt like the 100th time.... plus any errors spelling or grammar feel free to point out cuz I genuinely suck at both. Lol