Cant Say No To This (Lams)

Chapter 1

"Dearest Laurens, my closest friend and companion, the man who has captivated my mind as I his. Although I have faltered far from our life together; my soul has not faltered once from your touch, your eyes, or your radiant freckled smile. Please, give me one last shot to prove to you that I am true in my affections and I will show you, by my actions and my words, that I have always loved you.
Your beloved, Alexander.

The words of Alexander Hamilton's last letter addressed to him rang in his head with full clarity. John clutched the letter to his chest. It had been five months sense the letter had entered his life and plagued his sleepless nights. He had half a mind to ignore the man, "To hell with Hamilton. He left me and married Eliza. He should devote himself to his wife!" He had originally told himself this. But despite the bitter aftertaste thoughts of Alexander in the tender embrace of another he couldn't bring himself to set the accursed thing ablaze.

Even after all the crying, screaming, and pangs of anguish in his chest droning on like the cries of Hell's bells; John could never take his mind off of Alexander. With powers worse than the foulest of witches the man had stolen his heart and ensnared him. Wedding bells ringing out from the chapel, looking among beautiful church pews and their perfect identical rows John felt as if the festivities were mocking him. Forced smiles and happy laughter for the man he longed to be with as he died inside. That was the price John paid for Alexanders happiness. Yet still, on the pages of letters in the rushed calligraphy of his lovers hands, the man cried out for him.

Now, he was here. Standing in front of his former lovers home watching the fire crackle through the small window beside the door. Taking a breath he grabbed the door knocker with determination and-

Laurens hesitated, head racing a million miles a minute. "What am I thinking? I can't do this, I shouldn't!" Yet, still he found himself frozen to the spot. Hand still grasping the door knock like a lifeline, eyes darting over to the window to see Alexander emerge from his office to get something. The short man had a perplexed look upon his face. He thought had seen, out of the corner of his eyes, someone standing outside the window. Turning his gaze upwards Alexander felt his hands grow cold.

It was as if time had frozen around him and he feared momentarily that if he moved a muscle the image would dissipate and he would go mad. Could it be? Was Laurens actually there?

His frantic haze finally wearing off Alexander darted for the door. Clammy hands could barely grasp the knob before he pulled the door open wide with such force he feared it would spring forth from the hinges. Laurens tried to will his limbs to move, run, get away from this place but he was captivated by Alexanders stare.