Shanna and her husband have lived a happy life. They got married several years ago, and have three kids. They had gotten rich off of her husband, Ralph, because he had starred in "Little People NKY." If you couldn't tell already, her husband was a midget. Shanna didn't judge tho-she always said its not the height that matters, it's that d tho. ANYWAYS
It was a crisp morning in December when Shanna went grocery shopping. When she stepped into the store, she immediately had gotten the most organic and vegan food she could find on her list. Her kids hated it, but she didn't care. She was walking down aisle 14 when she saw a Chinese woman with a white kid. Shanna couldn't not say anything, "you do know that on gene diagram, your child is irrelevant since they're adopted, right?"
The lady just glared at Shanna as her child started to cry.
"Oh honey it's not your fault you're not with your real family," Shanna said which made the poor little boy cry harder. The woman said some selective words to Shanna and left with her child.
It made Shanna feel good about herself when she put others down. She used to do it all the time when she was an eighth grade science teacher.
Shanna got all of the shitty food for her children and headed home. She made dinner that consisted of a head of lettuce with un-pasteurized milk, and went to bed. Everything was going good, until one fateful day in January. It was January 10th, her birthday.
"Good morning Shanna! Happy Birthday babe!" Ralph said to her. "Awe thank you, where are my presents and breakfast in bed?" She said with a hint of anger. Ralph handed her a bunch of gifts and a tray. One of the gifts she was particularly excited about...a trip to the rock museum for just the two of them. She was so excited! It was today!
"Eat up and get dressed and we'll leave," he said as he kissed her forehead and then left the room, closing the door.
Shanna ate with such speed, she almost gave herself whiplash. She got ready and they were at the door. The rock museum was about 20 minutes away. The entire drive there, she was bouncing in her seat like a kid going to Disney.
They finally arrived.
The rock museum was basically a cave with a bunch of rocks on the walls.
"Go ahead and start exploring, I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
Shanna sprinted towards the rocks, taking an awful selfie with each one. She was having such a great day so far, or so she thought.
All of a sudden, she hears clanking noises coming from the ceiling. She looks up and there are people coming down on ropes like its a spy movie. She counted 5, each with a sniper rifle. Shanna panicked and started to run when a bullet barely skimmed her stomach. She freaked out and didn't know what to do. The people had reached the ground and had taken off their masks. She gasped in horror. It was the woman from the store, her own children and one was still masked. They were shorter than the rest, so she assumed it was the store lady's kid. They all raised their gun at her. Her children yelled, "THIS IS FOR MAKING US EAT VEGAN ORGANIC FOOD," and shot her in the legs and arms. Shanna was on the floor in pain, wanting to scream but couldn't. The store lady yelled, "THIS IS FOR BEING A STRAIGHT UP BITCH," and shot her in the hip. Shanna thought this was the bullet that was going to kill her, when she remembered there was one left. They took off their mask and it was her husband. The love of her life. He raised the gun and yelled, "I only married you to have children and get more press for "Little People NKY. I never really loved you." Shanna's heart break hurt more than the bullet wounds. Ralph raised the gun and shot her in her big ass forehead. Her pulse slowly decreased to a stop. The sniper team all high fived and left.
After that day, the children ate junk food like normal children, "Little People NKY" had gotten so much press because he acted like he was depressed, and finally store lady and her kid lived happily ever after. The world was now a happier and better place without Shanna Byrd.
The End
