Bloody Mary

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"Wake up~"

A soft voice coos, disturbing my, once peaceful slumber. Well, it was if anything, less then bloodless.Terror was the main 'preformance' in my dreams.racking my brain, my shrill screams cacophonous and window clear. "Not now Dagger, five more minutes." I complain loud enough for it to reach his ear, and it was low enough for my eyes to fall soundlessly. "FEATHER! GET UP YA LAZY COOT!" the clash of sounds jutted me straight from my satisfactory position. My deathly eyes easily cast to my blond brother. "Fine! Just leave me alone to get ready." a faint frown had ghosted on his pale lips, those beautiful blue eyes brimming with concern and such noticeable anguish. "Please." I add lovingly, wanting, at least to put these current nerves at ease. At this, he shook his light topaz locks, backing me up with one of his heartening smiles.

However, my lips are still plaugued with a frown, my dreams are plagued with nightmares, haunting me like a never ending waltz of horror. That day, chattered our relationship terribly, even more then words could describe. The anxiety of once more being sold was ghastly. Even more so, I'm not accepted as much as I'd aim to be.

"Alright. I-I'll be waiting."

He understood the trauma I've gone through, even if, my words of truth, unearthing, and misery never surfaced. If my scars never saw the light of day. If my nightmares never sliped past these crused lips. This cursed body. Me. Quietly, I stand and shuffle around my chest of various outfits. Hyacinth eyes lazily inspecting each with a slight interest. A black substance my tap. Running forever with no thoughts of ending, no intention of subsiding. This thick black liquid fills my lungs, my body,my mind. It's the one thing that I can drive on. However it is the one thing that topples me over. Bored, I slip on a blue and white dress, filled with such child-like joy. They will never see me as the same. Joker, beast, doll, Peter, Wendy, Jumbo, even dagger.

Gracefully, I apply my make up and exit, by the time I changed and actually had gotten myself together, it was noon. "Good afternoon, says oscar." snake greets from the side of the dirt paths." Bon après-midi." a tilted head was my answer, why is it so easy for me to forget they don't speak French? Annoyed, I stomp away.

They will never see me as one of their own.

And...I'm not anymore.
My walk wasn't long, sadly, but in a way the others happy, carefree greetings was some sort of comfort. It can't be doudted that they have some suspicion involving me. Mainly me... "Aye! Feather!" my brother shouted with a slight giggle. "Are ya ready for tonight!" he yelled with encouragement. I do love him, I'd easily die for him. Of course, that'd be nearly impossible. How lowly I've become. "Oui." damn, damn that fat noble and his high expectations. He only spoke french, wanting me to learn it as well, for it was the 'language of the rich'

"What does that mean?"
He quizzed, lightly poking my side, his actions strongly representing that of a child. "It means yes in french." I state with an irritated sigh to my words. After that, there was silence, other then the shuffling of pebbles and dirt, as well as the joyful chattering if the other residents.

Dagger's eyes seem strongly interested in the dirt we tred, his hands seem to have found his pockets more comfortable then the warm, thick air. He was...
Ashamed?

I can sense it, like an array of colours danced around his form, even if said colours weren't necessarily present. But, the boldness and such plead managed to invade my space, if it were any different, I would have shrugged off his humanly aura."Sorry." we walk past the showers and Jumbo waves, lazily we wave back, heading to the main tent. Once out of ear's reach, dagger picks his head up and feigns an innocent smile. "No, don't be, it wasn't-" no. Never do I want those memories resurfaced. Never.

Everytime I close my eyes in silence, those horrible years scrolls past my vision, like a horrifying moving picture. Never once in my life have I ever thought, my own screams and sobs would be the destruction of me. Who I used to be, what I once was is still screaming deep within me, crying and pleading for the release of death whist wanting to live.

"No." I growl.

Cold, sharp, nipping fingers wrapping around my raw neck, my scarred neck. Gasping, screaming, tears, red, death...

Misery

Those things aren't hurdles, they're walls that stunt you, that crumble on top of you. I've been given the wings of an angel, but they are stained with chaos, they are stained with youth, and anger, unreached salvation, despair. That's no way a human should live.

"O-oh, I'm sorry if I- look! We thought you should sing tonight..." that had peaked my curiosity.I've never actually preformed on stage, only on the sides, no light spreading around me like a holy beakon. No. That's all a stupid joke. His oh so graciousness sits on his high horse and throws humans to darkness, encasing them in a devil's snare. All to see us thrive for our food. Toy and play with the measly weak ones, all for the sake of seasoning. It's all entertaining if I must say the least. "What's the occasion?" my voice is so unorthodox. They all have such loveable and trustworthy voices. So soft and alluring. I dare say I'm virtually jealous.

However, my tone has lost everything. There's no sympathy, no love, no signs of emotion other then a pulsing hatred. So far, no one has had the audacity to ask why I'm so... Lukewarm. That's exactly how I desire it. "Nothin' special, it's just...ya know...about time ya be up 'ere." my brothers eyes were so caring. Even if he can't see it when he looks in the mirror, the bloodshed is not imperceptible. It's there, much like my wings of dignity, they are stained, but they are stained crimson.

We stop in front of the main tent, ignoring everyone who passed by and granted us a good afternoon. "Are ya nervous?" Dagger quizzed curiously. Hands shoved deep in his pockets and his shoes digging into the dirt, lightly placing an unsure hand upon my pale, uncovered shoulder. My gaze turns razor sharp as these hyacinth eyes glared at his hand as if it was a hideous bug.

Expectantly, he removed it, not wishing this harmful connection to his delicate hand. "No. I'm not nervous in the least." corresponding to my words was a small ripple within my stomach. I was indeed hungry.

"Alright, Feather, I wish ya luck!" Dagger smiled like a child, nearly making me regretful and guilty. A brotherly pat placed on my unprotected back as he ushered me into back stage, asking me to practice for a the time I'm not on stage. Dagger was my only brother, and I cared so dearly for him. A small smile fades on my pink lips, though he's older, I feel I should protect him. From everything. Anything.

Even if I have to kill everyone, watch the world fall into bottomless darkness, I wish only for him to be by my side as these cursed eyes of mine watch the pain filled eyes of all those who wronged us fade into empty, misery written orbs. So grey. So lifeless...

So beautiful.

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A/N

HI!

Ok this is short but this is about the length of all the upcoming chapters...

Next chapter will be her performance...

OH and thank you so much!

For those who commented

I like the support

It is like gassoline to my flame!

STAY TALENTED MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

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