Why'd you stay?
You knew it would be the same every time you saw him.
It would be fine, then he'd say lets go for a walk in the woods, we'll be sheltered a bit from the rain.
That's when it comes to the fear, the pain.
He makes you want to cry right there and then but you don't because you also realise he's Not what you or everyone else thought he was.
You say no, come on just once no ones here, please, you can't push away he's too strong but if you managed to he tries till your are at the point maybe if I let him he'll never do it again because you couldn't stop him anyway whether you gave in or not, you'd try not too cry and find reasons to leave. You'd cry all the way home on the bus just so you could keep a strong enough face for your family to see for a few hours, when your finally alone you'd cry yourself to sleep and swear you'd wouldn't meet up with him alone and it happened again and again. You feel filthy, dirty, molested but when you don't even know if it's Called rape or being molested. You think and feel pressured that maybe if you do something to him he may feel good or shit and leave you alone but it don't work like that a swore you wouldn't do it again, you didn't care if he wanted you to do stuff to him, he never said no or stop or don't do it he didn't say anything he wanted it to happen, he kept putting your hand there on him,it's just when he forced you to let him it was upsetting.
You should've left...
Every time you were alone with him you make an excuse not to go in private but to stay in public as you knew he wouldn't do anything there but why didn't you scream and run?
He always took your stuff, you knew it would take ages to get your stuff back as you couldn't leave without it.
You want to fully blame him, but you should've left but you thought it would stop, it would be okay but it happened every time your alone with him. When he left you where so happy it was still hard as you still had feelings but not enough for you not to get over him quickly and you hate him for what he did but he tells all your friends it was the other way.
WHAT BULLSHIT!!
You cant ever forget it, the feeling, what happened to you, countless nights you cried yourself to sleep but
There was even times when you wanted to kill yourself because of him but you didn't, because you failed trying to.
His new girl can have him, just like they both wanted, to be honest You want to thank her from taking him, everyone warned you she'll take him but maybe it's a good thing she did because
All you want is good in yourself and life...
I ask myself this everyday
