Wings

First Goodbye

This chapter was very difficult for me to write. It's incredibly bitter and bad like a lot of this story has been but I think it was necessary. I know a lot of you will be upset with Lauren but you have to kind of take her feelings into consideration, maybe love isn't enough to conquer every storm.

No matter, I can promise you that by the end of this story things will be better so you'll just have to keep reading until you get there.

Xx

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Lauren checked her phone for the 17th time since she'd gotten to Ally's room to see that once again there were no notifications. It'd felt similar to the pain one feels when getting their eyebrows waxed, a sharp pinch to the heart and then a sort of pulsating afterwards.

It was nearing the end of the day and she hadn't spoken to Normani at all. Their conversation from the night before had spiraled out of control as they went back and forth about the state of their relationship. Normani felt that Lauren should've been content with the daily texts and calls because it was better than nothing but Lauren just couldn't muster up the gratitude.

It wasn't enough.

She knew she was being selfish, that she should've been happy that they were even managing the way that they were but she wasn't. Lauren didn't want to just manage when it came to her girlfriend, she wanted to give Normani her all. She couldn't do that when they were worlds apart and she was tired of trying to pretend that she could.

Normani was upset still that Lauren refused to put her feelings aside, that she couldn't at least pretend that everything between them was okay and running smoothly and Lauren was upset that Normani was okay with pretending.

They were both on opposite ends and neither one was willing to see the other's side for what they thought it was. It ended with Normani hanging up on Lauren in a fit of frustration and the both of them going to sleep fuming and beside themselves. It was the first fight they'd ever had and the first time they'd broken a promise: never go to bed angry.

Now it was almost 5 PM the next day and Lauren had been checking her phone every five seconds for something. She could've been the one to break the silence but she felt since it was Normani that had checked out of the conflict early it should've been Normani who reached out first. Lauren should've known better, her girlfriend could be just as stubborn as she could.

She sighed as she locked her phone and sat back against the sofa in Ally's room.

Ally looked up from her phone "What's going on with you?"

Lauren looked to Ally and then shook her head "it's nothing, I just haven't heard from Mani all day."

Ally locked her phone and placed it beside her before climbing off of her bed and walking towards Lauren "Well is everything alright?" She asked as she crossed her arms.

Lauren looked past Ally "No." she whispered. She was hurting so much, she had been since she'd found out about Normani going to Julliard in the first place and she'd thought that maybe keeping in contact would help but it was just making everything worse. She looked to Ally, tears filling up in the brim of her eyes and threatening to spill over "I don't think we're going to be alright."

Ally quickly went over to join Lauren on the sofa and rubbed her back gently "Lauren." She said sympathetically "Why do you say that? I thought things were going well."

Lauren nodded "They were I guess, as well as they can go but it feels like the both of us are just acting like everything is okay because we don't want to accept that things aren't. I was the one that told her things would get better but I don't even know that. I can say that because that's what I want but in the moment I don't know anything." Tears began to fall down her cheeks as she continued "I love her so much and she says that's the reason we have to keep fighting but being together like this, it feels like a means to an end. It feels like we're just going on with our lives, growing without one another, experiencing, living and trying to fake like we're including each other when we aren't because we can't."