My Boyfriend from Kindergarten

Fools (Chap. 8)

The ambulance arrives and takes Oliver away. Mr. Lee runs to his car crying, and drives away following the ambulance. I just sat there, in the doorway of the outside playground..numb, nonhuman, refusing to believe what just happened. I slowly get up and walk, stumbling, to the bench where the birthday cake is at.

Happy Birthday Mr. Olive !! <3

I began crying, weeping bitterly, and pushed the cake off the bench table and stepped on it. "I'm so stupid! How could I forget?!" I run to the toy house, where we confessed to each other, and crawl inside. I stayed in there until it was time to go home. I didn't care about missing class. That's the last thing on my mind.

As I'm going home in daddy's car, I look out the window dazed. Daddy was talking but I barely heard what he was saying.

"Hey! LISTEN TO ME!"

"Yes, daddy?"

"I said when you get home, feed buck. I gotta run somewhere, and I'll be back home later on tonight. I guess you can eat dinner today. But don't take the last piece of chicken! I've warned ya!"

"Okay daddy.."

We get in the house and I pour dog food in Bucks bowl. He runs over and starts eating it. I walk down into the basement and lay on my comforter. I feel like a zombie...Like a monster. What if he dies? Its all my fault!

I begin to cry again in my comforter, trying to figure out why out of all the things he has told me, I forgot about that. Everything was becoming a miserable game. I felt so useless, so dark. I didn't feel like Olivia anymore. I didn't even try to sneak to say hi to mommy today. The day my daddy leaves out for the night is the day I actually choose to stay in the basement.

I decide to take a nap, hoping the pain will go away. But all I can do is dream of him...choking...laying there, cold and frozen.

I wake up from the horrid dream and check the time..10:15

I want to call him..maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he's fine. Maybe he's watching Pororo. I call Mr. Lee's phone, and it beeped a long time. Finally, he answered the phone.

"*sigh* Hello?" He sounded so tired, so deprived.

"Uh Mr. Lee? This is Olivia. Is Oliver okay?" I hope to dear God he's fine.

"Um, Olivia..." his voice became shaky. Then all I could her was sniffling.

"Olivia...he's um..he's sleeping. He might be sleeping for a while so, you won't see him in school..um..I'm sorry I have to go...I have to go I can't talk...I can't...live...nae adul...ahh waeee! wae!" He begins screaming and crying and then the phone hung up....

He can't be gone..I know he's not "sleeping" as Mr.Lee said. But I know he's not gone either. Its a lie. Its all a lie

********************************

The next day arrives and I go to school. All the teachers looked so tired and depressed. Many of them would look at me, then put their heads down. Were they thinking I killed him? Rumor got out all around the school as of what happened; and I was to blame for.

"You ugly monster!"

"You fake girlfriend!"

"You killed your boyfriend you loser!"

"I hope you die worse!"

This went on all day, and I couldn't think or function. I just stayed in the bathroom during every break we had. The teachers could barely act normal around me, half smiling and then drooping to an awful frown. How am I suppose to perform at the talent show tomorrow? I don't think I will. But I feel like I need to, for Oliver and my mom. I need the money to get medicine for mommy, but I also need to perform for Oliver, as a tribute.

I don't know how I will do it without Oliver playing piano tomorrow, but I'll sure as heck figure it out.

**************************

Talent show day arrives and I'm not dressed as good as I wanted to. I was just so scared of getting to school that I didn't even care about how I looked. All day until the talent show started, I wondered how I was going to do this. I asked Ms. Sunn for help, but she couldn't even look me in the eye. That really hurt me.

As I stand in the backstage, Mr.Lee comes out on stage and speaks,

"Welcome everyone to the Amberton Kindergarten talent show! I know many are eager to see who has the best talent, and most of all, who will go home with 500 dollars!"

Everyone cheered and clapped, whistling and hooting till the principal started speaking again.

"Haha now, as most of you know, we been um...going through a tough time right now. We lost our top student.." he begins breaking down into tears, and I begin feeling horrible again.

"Oliver...my, my son..he was wonderful. He always put a smile on your face, no matter how upset you were. He always cared about others, and about his grades...most of all, he was the definition of love. He is now in a better place, and I thank everyone who has been supporting me. Thank you" he cries and quickly walks to the backstage.

The talent show begins, and I was told that I was to be the last one to perform. I was relieved hearing that. Many people were singing and dancing, tap dance, jazz, ballet, even hip hop. I got nervous again, seeing how well they were performing. As I was looking through the curtains, Mr. Lee tapped my shoulder. I turn around and see he is trying his best to cope with this...and on top of that, cope with talking to the murderer.

"Listen Olivia, I know it's not your fault, we all make mistakes. And I just wanted to let you know, that I'm not angry at you. I'm just upset that he had to go this way. Now, I know you been wondering how you were gonna perform without him. I actually have a recording of him practicing the song on the piano, after you had left our house. You can use the video to help you. I believe in you. And make this the best talent show we've ever seen! Win that prize and show honor for my precious son!"

He smiles with a tear shedding out of his eye and gives me a high five. I felt so much better, and I was ready to do this.

"Next up, we have Olivia Stewart accompanied by Oliver Lee, who will be shown in spirit through this video. Lets give a big round applause for Olivia for showing strength to still do the performance!" The audience claps and I walk out on stage. Oh my goodness there were so many people out there. I instantly got nervous, until I heard Oliver's voice..

"You ready daddy?! I want to be ready and perfect so when Olivia comes over tomorrow, she will be so happy! I want to help her win !"

They started the video behind me. I turn around and see Oliver's face on the screen so bright and cheerful. his pale white skin grinning from ear to ear. I begin to cry..I can't do this. I fall to my knees, and Oliver begins playing the song on his Yamaha. I manage to stand back up, and I start singing with all my might. This is for Oliver. I need to do this.

I am tired of this place, I hope people change...

I need time to replace, what I gave away

I sung with all my heart. Everyone in the audience began wiping their eyes. Yes, this was a sad event. But I'm gonna make this moment for Oliver. No one will ever forget this, and neither will I.

I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes

I see a little house on the hill and children's names

I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray

But everything is shattering and it's my mistake

Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

I'm such a fool...