stories

Daddy Issues ☹

A.N
ok so this may be triggering to some people?? so this is is my trigger warning if you don't like thoughts of suicide or violence.
idk i don't think this fic is too bad but i was quite sad when i started writing it so its filled with emoTIONS
anyway enjoy fam

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Go ahead and cry little girl
Nobody does it like you do
I know how much it matters to you
I know that you got daddy issues

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It was a cold, rainy afternoon. It was quiet. You liked the rain but you didn't like the quiet. You loved the smell of rain, petrichor, was what it was called. The clouds were dark and low, creating a fog to rest upon the trees. No one was home. They had gone out. It was just you and the cold cement of the bunker. You didn't have shoes on. You didn't have pants on. A long, oversized shirt draped over your chest. A blanket pulled tightly around your body. You walked along the pebbled pathway, deeper into the mass of trees. The stones creating small but harmless incisions into the bottom of your feet. The cold air nipped at your bare legs. You liked the feeling. The feeling of coldness, it was like closure. Closure for what? You didn't  know.

It was one of those day's. They would come around often. You got used to it. The way it all felt. They all noticed the way you changed when those days came. What caused it? You didn't know. Maybe it was the fact that it was a cold, rainy day today that caused it. Or maybe, everything just came flooding back. All the words. All the fights. Why fight? Why did you fight? What was the point? You were just a burden on everyone's shoulders. Castiel didn't know how to help and he was an angel. Dean just drunk away his pain with mass amounts of liquor. Sometimes you joined. Drinking was fun. The burn of a vodka shot was soothing. It made you feel something. Maybe that's why you liked the cold. Because you felt something.

You stopped walking. In the middle of the forest. All around you was just trees and the quiet. The cold started to get to you now. You looked down at your feet, they were turning a bluey purple colour. Your legs doing the same. It was probably a better idea if you went back now, but you didn't want to. It was peaceful out there. Just you and your thoughts. You left anyway. Shivering and sniffling, you made your way back. Back to 'civilisation'.

They were back. They had gotten home while you were wondering off in the woods. You sighed. You knew what was now going to happen. Someone would yell. Someone would be pacing around in the library. Someone would be fetching tracksuits and socks and blankets to keep you warm. Hot tea would be handed to you while a hand would be placed on your forehead. The colour slowly coming back to your face.

The door to the bunker opened, just as you took your first step to open it. Sam was there. In a flannel, his brown hair being pushed to the side from the wind that picked up. His eyes softened at the sight of you. Hair flying around everywhere. Dark circles under your eyes. The paleness of your legs. The grip on your blanket. You sniffled.

"Hello"

Thats all you said. A simple word. A small smile formed on your face. What was the point of the smile? You weren't happy. There wasn't any point in smiling. Sam lifted you up. Bridal style and carried you down the stairs. As you predicted. Someone was pacing around the library. Dean. And someone was fetching every single blanket the bunker had to offer. Cas.

Sam carried you down the stairs. All heads turned. Cas sighed out in relief and took a seat next to Dean. Dean let his hands fall onto Cas' shoulders, leaning down and resting his head on top of Cas'. Cas reached up to Dean's hands, pulling them down off his shoulders and cradling them in his own, placing a small kiss to Dean's.

Dean's eyes widened as Sam walked closer to them. He placed you down gently in a chair and brought another blanket to you. Cas clicked his fingers, and there was tea. With shaky hands, you reached out for it. It was hot, a burning hot. But you liked it. You were used to it. Dean just looked at you. His fists clenched at his sides.