Imagine Beauty

Beauty tip two: when faking a smile, at least try to make it look real.

Please,God, Buddha,  Zeus, or whoever is out there,  kill me now.  I thought as I looked at the enormous castle in front of me.

High white towers engulfed by clouds towered over me, making me feel like a small bird about to be trapped in a golden cage.  Leaving al its freedom behind  about to be a mere accessory in a rich persons big  house.   

I guess that really is my situation right now, trapped, to be changed forever, and this castle was my golden cage.

Looking down I noticed that the holes in my dirty, old, converse grew even bigger since I put them on this early- morning.  Maybe I just should’ve put my brand new converse on, but  these converse were important to me, they had a meaning and a strong feeling attached to them. And I needed all the extra comfort I could get today.

Sighing I forced myself to walk towards this hell-hole. Putting one foot in front of the other was becoming a true torture I had to endure. My poor feet really didn’t want to go any further and honestly neither did I. 

This damned school.  I thought. Whose idea was it anyways to ground a school for girls with an arranged marriage? It didn’t make any sense to me.

Still looking down I walked closer towards the white building that would be my home for the next few years. I didn’t really want to see the school up-close. It was just so massive and to me, depressive. But I guess I was just weird, after all who would find a white school with golden doors and windows depressive?

Even the fallen leaves on the white, perfectly flat ground seemed to be a golden color, like a warm yellow carpet. But somehow they still felt cold, as if the golden glow radiating from them was too good for me, as if they were telling me I should just go away, as I would never be as beautiful as they were.

 I kept looking down at my old converse, walking over the pure white stones covered with golden leaves. I could just imagine the enormous trees they fell from, seeing that the motive here was white and gold, the bark would probably be the purest white and the leaves all golden en the richest green. The grass would be perfectly cut short, and would swarm around the trees like bees around honey.  The dew would make the grass greener than the greenest green, and make it sparkle like Edward Cullen in the sunlight.  If you would look in front of you, you would see an endless ocean of grass stretching out and on your right a golden forest, the trees stretching as far as you would be able to see, softly swaying in the cool autumn breeze.

If you’re wondering how I know this, I researched this place for a bit at home. I still wanted to know how the place I was going to live looked like and what kind of school it was. I also wanted to know how far it was from my home and how far the closest city was.

Which wasn’t close at all. If you’re wondering.

 My feet felt heavy and hurt from the long walk. And my old backpack limply hung from my shoulders. When I started walking it wasn’t too heavy, it was like carrying an empty backpack, almost as if there was no stuff in it at all. But after walking for 3 hours straight it felt as if it was filled with bricks. Not that the old thing would be able to carry bricks. The dirty brown straps would have broken by then. In fact they broke numerous times already. Again and again I had sewn them on. Messily.

 Not only the straps made this backpack look old though, the layer of dirt on the once white bag and the holes in the soft texture of it accentuate how old it actually was. I think the backpack was more hole than bag, but I fixed them. Now there were pieces of black and red on the places where once were holes, but still not all the holes were covered.

Finally I noticed the big, golden door in front of me. While thinking I had crossed the long lawn without noticing.

Not really knowing what I should do now, I stood without moving in front of those doors. Should I knock? Or would that be weird considering this was a big school, or better even enormous, and there was only a tiny change someone would hear me. But it could be considered rude if I just walked in, like I owned the place.