*Tyler's POV*
"Tyler, please come home. We're all so worried. I love you."
Jenna's voice doesn't bring comfort to me anymore. It never really did, I've realized.
Josh is the only person who could ever really save me. But, I couldn't save him.
It's been 3 months since Josh's suicide. I still can't get the image of finding him out of my head. I was going to wake him up in the morning and I found him in his bathroom, curled up next to the tub with his note in one hand and and empty bottle of Hydrocodone in the other.
I ran to him to see if he was still breathing, and he was. In my arms he let out one last puff of air, and that was it. I held him and cried, screaming for Jenna. She called 911 and the paramedics had to forcibly pull me off of him, screaming and crying for him.
I haven't been able to get that moment out of my head. The way his skin felt cold and his glossed over dull eyes.
Jenna and I followed the ambulance to the hospital, and through the back window I could see them performing CPR and trying to get him to breath. We weren't allowed to go with him into the emergency room, and so for 4 hours I didn't know if he was dead or alive.
A doctor came to get us and brought us into his room. I wanted to walk in and have him peacefully sleeping, heart monitor beeping normally and an IV connected to him. He was laying flat on the bed, a thin baby blue sheet pulled over his body.
"I am so, so sorry. Joshua arrived dead on arrival. We tried everything we could, but there was nothing to be done to revive him,"
When I heard that, I couldn't handle it. I had stood up to face the doctor, and as his words rang out in my mind, I walked out. Tears were streaming steadily down my face, but I was silent. I got stares and I completely ignored them as I practically ran put of the hospital to my car.
I put the keys into the ignition, and gripped the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles were white. I started to drive, not caring where I was going. I left Jenna there, and I don't care. Josh is dead. He was the only person I ever truly cared for.
