Wildlings

45: Thunderbolts and Dagcranks

Judit clung to Sannah's hand like she might disappear if she let go. Sannah was crying. Judit thought she might cry too. She didn't know if it was the beer or the thunderbolt of Sannah, Sannah here, but she felt totally hurled out, pinned under an avalanche of struggling emotions.

Shock, mostly shock, and she was happy to see her, yes, ecstatic, but a mass of other things too: all the thoughts and memories she'd pushed away since coming here were back, crazying up her brain, and it was hard to handle.

There was a definite guilt. She'd barely given Sannah a second thought since she'd come here—on purpose, avoiding thinking about her—and here she was. Somehow she'd come to find her.

Judit remembered her fantasies about Dek saving her, and felt such a nyaff that she'd thought of that, but never this. That Sannah, the only family she had, might care enough to do something as off kilter as this.

She buried her head in her sister's neck, wrapped her arms around her shoulders. The breathless run and the sea-air had served to sober her up, but it still felt so unreal.

"I can't believe you're here. I can't believe it."

"I've missed you so much," Sannah was crying, hugging Judit back.

"Me too," Judit said, and immediately felt guilty. No, that's not fair. I have missed her. I have. She just hadn't realised, until she saw her again. Now she was here, the painful, poignant feelings hit her like a train, like a roof-fall.

"Come on," Sannah said. "Let's go. I'm going to rescue you. Get you away. I've worked it all out. I can get a job, can–"

"Go?" Judit echoed, doubtfully, pulling upright, looking at that sweet face, so familiar and so surprising. "Go away? Like, now?"

Sannah nodded. "That's why I came. To rescue you. I've been so worried." Her face fell. "Don't you want to?"

"Of course I do!" Judit leaned in quickly again, hugged her sister. And she did. She did want to go. Leave all this Gaen dag and everyone hating her and Rama rejecting her behind. She did.

"But..." She lifted her arm, pulled a face. "I'm chipped. They can see where I am. If I just sail off it'll look crook straight away. They'll see where I'm going." She glanced at Brock and Lintie, huddled together on the rocks, at the waves dipping around them.

"In fact, I better get off this boat, right now. If any of 'em checks their screens I'll be in the sea."

She wondered for a second if Rama ever did that, when they were apart. If he ever thought, I wonder what Judit's up to, and had a look on his screen. She knew she would, if the roles were reversed.

"Come on," she said to Sannah, still not letting go of her hand. "Come to the beach." She stood up, steadying herself as she stepped onto the rim of the bobbing vessel.

"Your clothes are off kilter, Dit," Sannah said as she followed Judit across the salt-slick rocks.

"I know, right? You should see the pants."

Both girls laughed for the first time, and it felt good. It's so good to see her again, Judit thought. I can't let her go another time. Not now.