You can't fix this!

Clinging to hope

It was the middle of the night when Loki suddenly woke up. He found Steve again sleeping next to him sitting on a chair. Just as before his arms and head were resting on his bed. He sighed. Would it really be so bad to give him a chance? He gently caressed his hair. Steve leaned to the warmth of his hand instinctively. For a moment he stood still wondering. Steve was so different from Tony; he had told him everything and it didn't seemed to matter to him. He hadn't looked at him any differently, well; he had but in a good way. He hadn't even complained when Loki threw up the food he had brought for him. He just shrugged his shoulders and suggested to try again with something lighter when he felt better. Would it really be so bad? He could pretend ... no, that wouldn't be fair. Steve was both young and old at the same time; still struggling to find his place in the new world he had been thrown into. He now remembered catching him looking at him and Tony once; when things were still all right. He had a sort of lost child look in his eyes.

"Steve?" He asked softly hoping he wasn't completely asleep.

"Mmm?" Steve drowsily opened his eyes and looked up.

"A while ago ... was that your first kiss?" He couldn't help to ask, me felt curious.

Steve blushed instantly. "I ... well ... umh yes." Why did he ask him that? "Was it that obvious?" He asked in return concerned.

"Kind of, but I really just was wondering. "Am I your first crush?" He wanted to understand him.

Steve blushed even darker. "No, I ..." He looked down visibly upset. "It doesn't matter."

"Why?" Loki asked intrigued.

"They are gone." Steve answered with a heavy heart.

"I'm sorry. I didn't meant ..." Loki started to apologize. It must have happened before he got frozen.

"It doesn't matter." Steve shrugged. "I never had the courage to ... do something about it. And now I can't change it. Can't we talk about anything else?" Steve asked trying to hide the hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't thought." Loki tried to apologize again.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't knew. I really don't want to talk about it. Tell me about you and Tony." Anything to drown down the memories.

"What do you want to know?" Loki asked intrigued.

"I don't know. Why you love him so much I guess. He's a complete pain in the ass for me." Steve gingerly acknowledged.

Loki smirked amused. "You shouldn't say that. He's really fond of you, you know?"

"Well, he has a very strange way to show it." Steve complained wryly.

"That he does." Loki conceded. "But he respects you."

"Sure! He's full of respect. That's why he put pink dye on my shampoo." Steve remembered still feeling angry at the whole incident.

Loki couldn't help to laugh. "Actually, that was me."

"What?!" Steve spat surprised. "Why?"

"I just thought you would look good in pink." He teased him.

"Well, I didn't." Steve pouted visibly offended.

"But you did, you looked like a cotton candy. Yummy enough to be eaten." Loki joked without thinking.

Steve blushed again taken by surprise by Loki's comment. Was he flirting with him? He looked up in hope he was.

Loki noticed his demeanor change and quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant it that way. I really don't want to give you any false hopes Steve. It's just been so long since I had someone I could really talk to." Looking at Steve's sulking face he added. "Don't get me wrong; you are a good man. Maybe ... in a different lifetime."