Diary of a teenage Christian (The next chapter)

Who is God? : Chapter 2

God can be plenty of things to someone, depending on the situation. For many people God is their counselor, and truly He is. He helps us through all trails and tribulations, and even when he's not "helping"; he's helping! The saying "when it feel like God isn't moving in your life, that's when He's moving the most." When I find myself in isolation, I think way too much about every little thing. God does separate me from the rest of the world, because He wants me alone; so that I can hear what He had to say. Honestly I get so caught up in this temporary world, that I can't even hear when He's speaking to me. Makes me wonder, if I'm not willing to listen to God; then why should he hear what I have to say? God doesn't have to listen to my prayers, especially if they're full of junk. At least that's the way I always think of it.

Once in isolation, I realized I had to stop thinking of God as my best friend, because I literally treated God like one of my best friends. I thought I could talk to Him, listen to Him, and read His word on my own time. Clearly as a believer, I knew God had to be first. In 2 Corinthians 4:18, it says "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" Often most teens try to fit into the common culture, by having the latest trends; I struggle with this concept a lot. Then I have to take a look at my life, and tell myself that it's all temporary. None of this is eternal, not even the earth itself. Many times I rely on people for certain situations, but God is the only true solution. In those dark times, I feel as if I disappoint God so much; that I can't go to Him. It's like once a take one little step forward, I take 5 big steps back; and that really bugs me. I let what the world says about me, get to me. I sometimes do believe, those negative sayings. Don't get me wrong, I know deep in my heart; that God is bigger than all of that. I know God loves me, and that life is life, but right now, I'm just floating on thin ice; with a hardened heart.

God is the creator of the universe, the father of His children. Though God is loving and forgives; he also has a wrath. God doesn't have to listen to our prayers, if they're full of nothingness. God can either choose to have mercy on people, or to not; He's that just. I often find myself telling God I love Him, and my life sometimes looking like anything but that. Which is why, I sometimes feel like my prayers never reach past the ceiling. I can't be strong all the time, I'm allowed to breakdown right ?