BLONDE

S E L F C O N T R O L

I'll be the boyfriend in ya wet dreamz tonight,Noses on a rare little virgin west hill wife. You cut your hair but you used to live a blonded life, wish i was there. wish we'd grown up on the same advice and our time was right...
Keep a place for me.... I'll sleep between y'all it's nothing.
- Frank ocean - Self control
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Frank you think too much... I thought to myself.

As i walked back into the house I looked at my mother's picture book she had sent me as a birthday present.
God those were memories.

I could remember my 10th birthday- The day I got my first piano.... It was magical and I instantly fell in love with it.
At that time i wasn't worried about girls nor the kids at school, I was worried about the music. I would rush home from school just to play the piano.
Piano books were expensive which we wouldn't afford so I taught myself how to play.

The next picture which was me and an old friend. Mary Jane hill- She was the lyrics to my soul . We were best friends , we met at my 12th birthday party. i began to picture her from her old Dusty red converse, white t-shirt to her blue jean overalls. She made me think we were gonna be friends forever, until she moved away and became a college student at 16.

I began to smile and reminisce on our picture from prom senior year. She was beautiful in her burnt orange dress with African detailing. That night I was stunned and on that night I got my first kiss, it was magical.
On that night we just vibed . I miss her like crazy.

I flipped the page and looked over to our picture of when she went away to college. I hated that day.

'I love you Christopher Edwin breaux' she told me. That was the last thing she said to me until I came to visit.

I would come see her but I couldn't keep going, I had classes of my own plus paying for studio time.

That last day I seen her was when I came to her apartment in Ladera heights. I had stayed 3 nights and slept in her bed. We made love the first,smoked my first blunt the 2nd and argued the 3rd.

Flashback
FRANKIE I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME, Mary said screaming.

I know I'm glad too,i would only do that for you ya know? I replied bringing my stuff inside.

I looked at her soft pink and white satin gown she had layed out on the bed.

Hey bighead what ya looking at? She asked .

Nothing what's that? I said scratching my head pointing at the gown.

Oh that?! That's just something my mother gave me as a warming gift. It's cute isn't it?

I just laughed and shook my head.

It came time for dinner and I cooked our favorite- Alfredo.