Through our Eyes (On Hold)

Chapter 2, Emelia POV

Strange things keep happening to me. I'm here one sec and the next second I'm gone then I'm right were I started like if nothing had happened. It happened a lot when I was a child. I thought it was only dreams that I'll grow out of, but I still get them and it's not only when I'm asleep.

Tonight is quiet and eerie almost peaceful. Every house light is on except mine. I see silhouettes inside of the houses. Someone passing by a window, or a family cleaning up after dinner time. A couple watching TV. Compare to the other houses my house looks dark and uninviting. Sometimes I pretend or imagine to be living in one of those houses, and how warm I would feel. I walk to my house reluctantly. When I enter the house it feels like its weighing in on me.  I walk into the mess of beer cans that suffocates the entire leaving room. Beer cans on the couch, on the floor, on the table. I try to walk quietly through the beer cans, but it seems impossible to not make the clanking sound of cans crashing to one another. To any other person the smell of  alcohol would've bothered them, but I've grown used to it since she left. Since she walked out the door, and my father found alcohol to numb the pain of abandonment.
    
I pickup every beer can and dump it in the trash can. If I clean this mess it's like it almost never happened. I know better to think that, but if I see it, it's going to be a reminder of how bad my dad can get. I don't bother to check up on him. He's probably passed out in his room, or out at a bar. The last time I tried to look for him when he was out and drunk my dad beaten me right in Lane's Bar for trying to take him home. That night he locked himself in his room, and I in mine. The next morning we didn't say a word to each other. So, I've learned my lesson.

I go to my room that is more of a room than my room. There's a small plain bed in the middle of the room. A window above the bed, and a closet in the corner of the room. There's no pictures, no TV, no decorations, and all of my stuff is packed in my closet. I toss myself onto my bed. I try to keep my tears from spilling out, but fail. My hot tears stinging my cheeks. Is it bad to say that I don't love my father? Even if I know that he needs me. The question lingers in my head till I fall asleep.
             .                      .                      .
The next morning I awake in my small plain bedroom. I notice that the light is still on, I must've forgot to turn off the light. A gray dull light shines in to my room from the window. I can tell today was going to be cold. I look at myself in the mirror, expecting to see myself there with big dark circles around my eyes in a blank, pale canvas that is my face. Instead I see myself with vibrant glowing skin like a few days after a tan. I wear a sports team uniform. My dry dull hair is pull up into a sleek shiny ponytail. There's determination in my eyes. I blink to make sure what I'm seeing is real. When I open my eyes there I am, the beautiful vibrant girl has vanished replaced with the normal me. The me with big dark circles around my eyes and my dull, pale face.

Why does this keeps on happening? Is that me? If its not than who is it?