NEVERMIND #yoonmin

*Five*

When I wake up, I feel like I've been broken into two. My back aches dully, and when I try to sit upright my head spins from the sudden exertion on my strained muscles.

I stand up and wobble to my bed, plopping down on it and vowing to never fall asleep sitting up again. It's Monday, the Day of the Big Gruesome Test and also one of my set workdays. When I finish my last class, I immediately have to head over to the Jungs' costume shop to work my shift until 8 o'clock.

It turns out to be only six in the morning, which leaves me with another hour to study for my math test, but instead of breaking my brain over geometry problems, I fall into a sleep full of soft lips and words.

I wake up just in time to eat breakfast and catch the bus to school, skipping out on teeth-brushing and hair-combing. I avoid the bus windows when I run past them to the inviting sliding door, because I know I look like shit. My dark brown hair is styled in true bedhead fashion, not exactly the kind you find on Vogue covers but one side matted against my head and the other bolted upright. It looks like one half of my head is drowned in water and the other half is struck by lightning.

Since I skipped brushing my teeth, I probably have the worst morning breath in history but since I don't really talk to anybody on the bus or to anybody in general, I should be fine. Just in case, I try to breathe as much through my nose as possible.

The Math Test of Hell is scheduled for my second period and I am quite confident that I didn't flunk it completely. My wild guess is that I have about half of the questions right and I am suitably happy with that. I even knew some formulas and kind of understood the order of steps in most questions. That is more than I can say for earlier tests, where I completely un-ironically only knew my name – not even the date since I'm cool like that.

The rest of the day goes by quite quickly and soon enough I am standing in front of the small costume shop again.

Hoseok is standing behind the counter, waving and smiling widely when I push the entrance doors open. 'Hey! You're right on time, here's your apron.'

I catch the cloth that comes flying my way with one hand, the other shrugging my school uniform jacket off.

The shift is harrowing, wearing me out with boredom. As usual there are not many customers, so I rearrange the shelves with art supplies again and pull some costumes straight on their hangers. Mrs. Jung leaves the back office a few times, asking me about customers, and when I tell her it's the same as always she sighs tiredly.

I feel bad for her and Hoseok. When they started the shop they were both so happy and optimistic – even though Mr. Jung has left Mrs. Jung when Hoseok was still very young, she is a very positive woman.

When it's finally 8 o'clock I am quick to untie the strings on my apron and grab my jacket and school bag. I am about to leave the shop after placing my cash drawer in the back office, when I feel someone tugging my arm. I turn around to be faced with a smiling Hoseok.

He looks quite good, wearing casual clothes and having his hair styled up, something he rarely does. I catch a noseful of cologne when he excitedly flails his arms.

At first I got the impression he was going on a date with his boyfriend Taehyung again, hence the dressing up and the cologne, but this turns out not to be the case. Hoseok beams down at me, grinning happily as he asks: 'You wanna go crash a party tonight?'

I blink, confused. Hoseok knows I'm not the party type, even though I have attended a few parties of classmates. Also, it's a Monday night. Parties are much more common in the weekend, but I don't have enough party-crashing experience to judge the strange time of this party. It's probably a private party, since I don't know anyone who would give an open party on a school night.

'Aren't you going with Taehyung?' I ask, raising my eyebrows.

Hoseok nods: 'Obviously. But it's Tae's party and since he knows you and you know him I thought it would be a good idea to get you drunk.'

'What?' I am beyond confused at this point. 'Why?'

Hoseok slaps my shoulder. ' You need to let go once in a while Jiminie. You're always working, whether it's in the shop or doing your homework or doing that dancing thing you do and you just need to have fun. You're a teenager, you kind are obliged to get wasted on a school night at least once.'

I pout, shaking my head. 'That's easy for you to say, because you don't have to sit through sucky classes with a hangover tomorrow. You already graduated.'

'But Tae didn't. Come on, it will be fun! I know you'll like it.'

I can't remember why I ended up saying yes when we arrive at Taehyungs' house. The booming music makes me feel like all my bones are loose and rattling against each other. There are people outside the house, some of them furiously making out against the wall, others smoking and several vomiting in the neatly trimmed bushes.

Hoseok notices my hesitance, so he hits my shoulder again to show his support and yanks me out of the car, as if he's afraid I will try to run off.

Upon entering Taehyungs' house, the volume of the music triples, the bass almost visibly shaking the walls. Hoseok wades through the sea of sweaty, half naked teenagers, head turning to every corner of the room in hopes of finding his boyfriend.

He finally spots Taehyung somewhere in the back, next to the gigantic stereo that blasts music on max volume. He's lounging on a velvety couch, a few beer bottles on the floor next to him. There are a few people next to the couch, talking to him, but they disperse as Hoseok plops down next to Taehyung and shoos them away.

I don't really know what to do with myself, the third-wheeling hitting me hard as Hoseok grabs Taehyungs' face and places his lips on Taehyungs. It doesn't take long for them to really hit it off, faces turning and mouths jamming up like bad traffic.

I avert my gaze, uncomfortable. I can't stand seeing other people kissing except for movies. Even then it's awkward, especially when there are other people in the room. I decide to not interrupt the lovebirds and make my way to the drinks table. There is no bartender and everybody just grabs what they want.

There are a lot of bottles with all kinds of liquor and I try to find something that won't make me drunk immediately. I still don't think getting completely wasted on a school night is a good idea. Sadly the only thing Taehyung seems to have is vodka or tequila. There are a lot of empty beer crates, the beer supply almost gone.

The party must have been going for a while when I arrived, since most people around me are in varying states of drunkenness.

I decide on the vodka, pouring half a plastic cup. I don't really want to get drunk, but I haven't drank anything stronger than cheap wine before. My alcohol tolerance is very low since I've practically never consumed a lot of alcohol before.

Still, I want to drink a little bit, even though I know it will make me woozy. Partly because I want to have something in my hand to lessen the awkwardness, but also because maybe – just maybe – I really want to try getting drunk.

Hoseok is right; it is a typical teenage thing to get wasted and I am eighteen after all. I can legally drink. I know Hoseok will probably get drunk too, leaving me without a ride home, but Taehyungs' house is not too far from my own – maybe two blocks.

I look down at the red cup in my hand. The clear liquid looks a lot more appetizing than it probably is and before I can change my mind, I bring the sticky plastic rim to my lips and tilt my head back.

The vodka stings in my throat, leaving a burning trail in its wake on the way to my stomach. It tastes abominable, but I shake the sharp taste off and turn back to the drinks table. This time I grab the tequila for variation and fill my cup to the rim.