falling in love again | jeon jungkook

four

It was almost as if Jungkook was paralyzed.

He doesn't remember the last time he has gotten up from his bed. He doesn't remember the last time he ate a meal. He doesn't even know what time it is.

But what he remembers, is how much he has hurt Sujin. He remembers how hurt she looked the moment he stepped out of her house thinking that he was doing the right thing. Thinking that he wasn't the one at fault, and she was. He remembers how she managed to let him go all because he was a stupid jerk, a jerk who threw her away like trash.

He stared at the notebook, his thumb tracing over a random page. He felt himself pulling off a sad smile, reading the words that brought him back to the past, where the two of them didn't have a care in the world. Where the two of them were deeply in love with each other.

I had the best time of my life. Jungkook and I managed to sneak into the community pool at nightly hours. Clearly, the pool was closed. But it was the thrill of sneakily jumping over the fence and taking a dip into the pool that brought excitement. It was the thrill of being sneaky and rebellious that shook my bones to life. It was the thrill of being in love with someone that you trust with all your heart, and that was what made me feel special.

But eventually, we got kicked out. We got kicked out by some random old guy who seemed to be the owner of the pool. The look on his face was hilarious! But hey, at least Jungkook and I managed to cross something out on our bucket list.

Until then, on to the next date.

He smiled, turning to the next page. He managed to grow into a routine for the past week, go to sleep, wake up, read an entry from the notebook, and repeat. Throughout this routine, he realized how much he missed her to death. He missed spending time with her, he missed being with her, he missed their relationship.

"Jungkook?" He shot up from the bed at the feminine tone. He shoved the notebook underneath the mattress, heading over to the door.

Opening the door, there stood Heejin with a pack of ramen and a tray of coffee. She flashed him a concerned smile, insisting for him to come out of the room for the first time in a week. She glanced underneath his mattress to see a notebook being squished with the headboard. Jungkook came out of the bedroom, and he somehow felt himself being forced to do stuff he didn't want to do.

"Jungkook-ah, you've been acting weird lately, is there something wrong?" Heejin asked, placing her hand on top of his and he felt himself stiffen at her touch. She seemed to notice, and she frowned a bit. "Did I do something wrong?"

You did nothing wrong at all, I did. He thought to himself, shutting his eyes as he let out a soft sigh. He shook his head, "you did nothing wrong at all, Heejin."

She sighed with relief, smiling. "God, I've been worried about you all week. I planned a double date, and we're going, alright?"

Heejin stared at the boy, still not convinced at his answer. She knew that there had to be something wrong with him, and she was bound to find out eventually. She recognized that face, that look, that attitude. But the only thing that scared her was, it was the truth.

She knew that Jungkook was still hung up on Sujin. She knew that Sujin was practically someone who changed him into a beautiful human being. Sujin was that special girl who had a special place in his heart, somewhere Heejin was thousands of miles away from.

But Heejin was afraid, she was afraid of losing him to his own past. She hated the fact that Sujin meant something more to him, more than what she meant to him. She hated the fact that Sujin left a huge impact on his heart, leaving scars and dry tears that she hated to see and feel.