Alone (KickThePj)

Chapter 1

Have you ever had your heart-broken? I have. Too many times to count. It got to the point where I almost expected it. So why was this time any different? Why did I believe that I had a chance of someone actually loving me? Because he had done something that no one had ever done before. He promised he wouldn't leave.

When I was in the first grade, my father was the first to leave me. Every day he would pick me up from school, greet me with a big hug and swing me around. We would spend an hour in the park, drinking juice boxes. He would tell me funny stories until it was time to leave and we'd listening to the same sing-along tape on the way home.

One day my dad forgot to pick me up. I waited for what seemed like hours. My teacher kindly waited with me, but I could tell she wanted to go home.

Eventually my father's car pulled up and I was so excited. He had promised me the day before that we would be going bowling instead of the park. But it wasn't my dad. Instead my older sister, Alice, stepped out of the car. She rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug. I could tell something was very wrong. She helped me into the car and put all my stuff away.

Before she got in, she talked to my teacher. I looked at them through the car window. My teacher was frowning. I was very confused because she always had a smile on her face. Why was my teacher frowning?

"Alice why was Mrs. Williams frowning?" I asked my sister while we were driving off.

Alice was a little surprised at my question. She wasn't sure how to answer. "Zelda sometimes adults get sad. Even the ones who are always happy."

"Oh. Alice where's daddy?"

My sister stayed silent for a while. I couldn't see her face from the back seat, but I heard quiet sniffles. "Daddy's gone away."

I frowned. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know sis."

"Why did he leave?"

She pulled the car over onto the side of the road. I saw her grip the steering wheel tight before looking back at me. Her face was wet and puffy, like mine when I had skinned my knee from falling off my bike. She smiled at me, but it wasn't Alice's usual smile. This one was very different.

"Sometimes adults get sad. Even when they always seem happy." She whispered. For a six-year-old, I had no idea what she had meant. It wasn't until later on that I really understood.

"Is he coming back?" I asked.

Alice held my hand and smiled again. "I'm sure he will."

My dad never came back though. There were no big hugs that would swing me around. No more hours at the park drinking juice boxes. No more funny stories or sing-along tapes. There was no more him. I never forgave him.

When I was 13, I had lost my mother. She had been very sick for a long time. In her last few months she had gotten worse. She tried pretending like everything was going to be okay, but I knew the truth.

Her last day she said to me, "Zelda promise me something."

"Anything." I sobbed while clutching her hand.

"Promise me you will be careful with your heart and only open it to the one who is worthy of it."

For a thirteen year old, I had no idea what she had meant. It wasn't until later on that I really understood. The next day my mother had died and I was sent to live with my sister. Alice was all the family I had left.

Over the years I had friends who would come and go. None of them lasted very long. I didn't blame them though. Who would want to be friends with the sad girl who had no one?

When I was 18, my sister killed herself. Alice had left a note saying that she was sorry for leaving me. Apparently, she had been sad for a long time. I hadn't noticed because she had always seemed happy. It was then that I understood what Alice had meant those many years ago.

The note also said that even though she couldn't handle life anymore, she knew I could. She said that I was very strong. I had no idea what she meant because I felt pretty damn weak at the time. Everyone I had once loved was gone. After that I learned that nothing good can come from loving someone.

After college I moved to London. I got a job and had my own little apartment. I had only one friend named Taylor. She was extremely nice. A bit out there, but still a good person. I was still careful though. I was prepared for her to leave at any second.

She was always trying to get me to go to parties with her. "You need to get out and meet people Zelda!"

I would always shake my head and reply. "I'm perfectly fine only knowing you."

However, one day I did the unthinkable. I agreed to go with her to a party. Why I said yes, I'll never know for sure. Maybe I was feeling a little lonely that night. Being alone was something I was used to. Loneliness had become my friend, but that night it was nothing more than a nuisance.

I had never been to a party, so I only had T.V. and movies to go by. From what I learned they were filled with drunken people dancing, doing idiotic things, and going into different rooms to have sex. However, this party wasn't anything like that. People were drinking, but no one was drunk out of their mind. The atmosphere didn't seem as hostile as I expected; which made me relax a little.

"I'm going to get something to drink. Want anything?" Taylor asked.

"I'm good." I wasn't in the mood to drink.

Taylor left and I drifted to a nearby couch. If I had known anyone other than Taylor, than I probably would have mingled instead of sitting there like the loser I was. I was starting to hate being alone.

After a while, Taylor never came back. I was starting to get anxious. Maybe she finally realized I wasn't worth being friends with. Maybe coming to this party was a bad idea after all. I was about to leave when someone sat next to me on the couch. I looked over to see a really cute guy with the prettiest green eyes sitting awfully close to me.

"What's a beautiful girl like you sitting here all alone?" He asked.

"I'm waiting for someone." I looked away embarrassed. My experience with guys wasn't that great. My experience with anyone actually wasn't great at all.

"Boyfriend?"

"Ha!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. My hand flew over my mouth. Nice going idiot! "N-No. No boyfriend."

He chuckled at my awkwardness. "That's a shame."

I didn't know how to respond, so I just sat there quietly. After a few minutes of silence, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and smoothed out my dress. "It was nice chatting with you, but I have to go find my friend now. Bye."

"Wait!" The guy held on to my wrist before I could turn away. He stood up and I realized how much taller he was compared to me. "I have something I want to show you."

Once again, I did the unthinkable and let the stranger guide me to wherever he was going. His grip on my wrist wasn't even tight. I could have easily pulled away, but something was telling me to follow him. We walked up a set of stairs and passed a few rooms. He led me into a bedroom and closed the door behind us. My body went tense.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to make a move." He reassured me. He walked over to the window and opened it. The guy looked back at me before stepping out. "You coming?" He held his hand out to me.

Was I really about to do this? I could go back downstairs. But where's the fun in that? My mind went back and forth. Finally, I sighed with defeat and gave in. I took his hand sending thousands of sparks to shoot out throughout my body. I looked up and saw him smile before climbing out the window. Well, here goes nothing.