The Stick Up Kid

Hard Headed

Later that day I was in the car with Jaliehsa, parked in front of the A-1 store by my old neighborhood. We sat quietly, looking at everything but each other. It’s been like this for ten minutes. She drove me to the store to get a beer, and we haven’t left yet.

            I took a deep breath and chose to speak first. “What’s the big deal Li?” I asked.

            “What do you care?” she snapped. “You gon do what you want anyway.”

            “Come on Li. Don’t act like that,” I replied. “I just wanna know why you takin’ it so seriously.”

            “Because, Kashawn. I know this is goin’ to end up bad,” she told me. “It always does. They shoot at you, you shook back at them, then they shoot back you again. It just goes on and on and on Kashawn. And it won’t stop until somebody’s dead… until your dead.”

            “Li you think imma die?” I questioned.

            “I don’t know. But when you do what I know your about to do, it’s a good possibility,” she explained. I rolled my eyes at her response.

            “Yea right,” I doubted. “I know who we up against. It’s all gon’ get settled tonight. We won’t have to worry bout nothin’ else after this.”

            “That’s what you say, but how am I suppose to know you not gon get into some more shit,” Jaliesha stated. She finally turned away from the window and looked at me. “Man I’m havin’ yo baby Kashawn! I don’t want nothin’ to happen to you,” she confessed. I could see the tears swelling in her eyes.

            I clutched my jaw and shook my head. “Why you think somethin’ gon’ happen to me huh?” I exclaimed, feeling my emotions get worked up.

            “Because that’s life Kashawn!” she shouted, fully crying now. “You can’t go round doin’ the dumb shit you do and not think you won’t get caught. I seen it happen to my dad, and I seen it happen to my brother. But I don’t wanna see it happen to you.” she lowered her head, wiping her puffy red eyes. I was left speechless.

“Kashawn I love you… I really do. But how we gon be together and you dead, or you in jail, or you this, or that?”

            “Maaan,” I muttered, taking in her words.

            “You wanna be a statistic Kashawn, huh? You want our ‘child’ to be a statistic? And grow up with out a father?”

            “Why you gotta go there,” I mumbled. I was growing tired of her nagging. She continued to go on and on, trying to make me feel bad, but my mind was already made up. “Aye Jaliehsa, shut up.” I interrupted. Her mouth immediately closed. She looked to be offended by my harsh tone. “Man aint’ shit gon happen, so quit talkin’ that bullshit, aight. You outta be supportin’ me instead of runnin’ yo damn mouth.”

            Jaliesha glared at me silently, her eyes seemed to change to anger. “You know what yo problem is?” she fussed. I sucked my teeth, ready for her to stop talking. “You don’t listen! You don’t listen to nothin’ anybody gotta say but you. Kashawn  does what Kashawn wants to do; damn what everybody else thinks or says.”

            “You sound like my fuckin’ mom,” I retorted.

            “Then maybe yo mom’s right!” she exclaimed. “I’m trynna look out for you! for us, this baby, and everything.” I unlocked the car door, opening it.

            “I don’t have time for this,” I told her. I shut the door in her face as she continued her rant. Jaliesha rolled down the window and shouted some things I didn’t care to hear. Truth be told, I was tired of everybody giving me ‘advice’, like they know what’s up. The one thing Jaliesha was right about though, was that I’m going to do what I’m going to do. And I’m going to get revenge for Tymark.

            At 11:43pm, Raquan and me were hanging in front of his place, waiting for Tymark to pick us up. We were dressed in pure black and armed with pistols. Raquan paced the ground while I stood still.

            Tymark’s dark blue car slowly came into sight down the gravel road. It pulled up to us and stopped. I waited to hear the doors unlock before entering the Vehicle. Tymark was sitting in the driver seat with blazing red eyes. He smelled like a bottle of grain alcohol and looked unkempt. He clearly wasn’t in hid right mind.

            “Ya’ll ready?” Tymark asked us, keeping his eyes forward.

            “Yea,” Raquan replied, leaning back in the front seat.

            I took my 9mm pistol from my pants and studied it as Tymark drove down the street. It’s going to be my first time shooting at someone. I’ve robbed people before, and even helped beat a guy to a coma, but this was different. This could be murder.

            I closed my eyes, getting my mind right. Images of Amp and Davontae entered my thoughts. They weren’t innocent; in fact I know they’ve killed before. They dissevered to die I told myself. That’s when Jaliesha’s words replayed in my mind. I thought about my soon to be child, my future, and loved ones.

            As thoughts began to swell my mind I remembered my past. I remembered how my cousin showed me the ropes. Every fight, robbery, and criminal act I’ve ever done was released from my memory banks. All these undesirable memories and thoughts made me realize one thing. What I had become wasn’t who I was.

            Upon coming to that realization, I felt like shouting to Tymark and telling him to pull over. I wanted to get out. Get out and go home, hold my girlfriend, apologize to my mom… start a new. But sadly, it was too late for that, because when I looked behind us, Blue and white lights blinded me.