Still Sam-
"Sam....dont...." Cat warned me. I guess she saw my clenched fists, and after this long of knowing eachother she knew what i was thinking.
But i dont care what she says, i cant just not. its what i do! She knows that! its who i am. Its the one thing im good at. Making others feel pain. And its ten times better when the peson im pounding has done something wrong and deserves it. I have hurt people all my life, nothing can stop me, espicially someone like Cat. And when sombody hurts someone like Cat i have no choice but to hurt them. Cat is so sweet and weak and innocent and cant fight back, so i need to be the one to help her, fight for her, even if she doesnt want me too. She cant stop me.
"But Cat! He hurt you. You don't deserve that. He however, deserves revenge, and im going to give it to him." I tell her digging my nails so hard into my palms i think im going to bleed. But it doesnt hurt, this would definitly not be the first time they bled from just doing this. So im used to the pain and it doesnt bother me anymore.
"Sam please, I dont want to hurt him." She told me getting upset with me. She was no longer crying, her tone wasnt hurt anymore, just concerned. For him...why?
"Your not going to hurt him, Cat. I am" I said way more calmly looking at my fist and unclenching it revealing red marks where my nails once were. No blood. I guess thats good, but it would be more calming, more satisfying, less painful if there was.
"No your not." She replied very calmly picking up her tea and drinking some more.
"GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULDNT?!?" I stood up and yelled at her. Her calmness just got on my nerves. I cant stand it! She looked taken aback by my actions. I regretted it straight away, but i didnt calm down. I dont understand how she is suddenly so okay with this.
"Because. I told you not too." She staited, ignoring my obvious rage.
I didnt know what to say so i just sat down, she knew that her calm voice would win. I felt defeated. How am i so weak towards her. It bothered me how she had that affect on me. I nodded in agreement sighing. But im not making any promises not to kick his head off later, like i said, not even Cat can stop me. Ive always had anger issues, and kicking and punching people is part of the package. And Robbie has officially drived me insanely angry. The rage was building inside me. But ive been to over 7 therapists and each one has tried so hard to hard to help me, i mostly block them out but sometimes i listen, and ive learned how to calm myself. So thats exactly what i did, calmed myself. Ever since I moved in with Cat ive been a lot less violent. Not all the time, but a lot less then i did in Seattle. And im not sure if i like that or not.
"Thank you" she smiled at me before continuing "What happened, well the reason he dumped me makes sense i guess..." she trailed off looking everywhere but at me.
I got confused. What on Earth could Cat do that would make someone want to break up with her? I know she can be super talkitive and oblivious and a little annoying sometimes, okay a lot of times. But if you didnt want that, then you shouldnt of asked her out in the beginning. Cat is Cat. And that is who she is. You either love her, or hate her. There is no in between. Not for me atleast. And whatever Robbie thought of her, it was just confusing. He either should never have dated her, or never have broken up with her. The whole thing just pissed me off.
"What did you do?" I asked a little worried, not really knowing if i wanted to hear the answer.
Its not like she could of been mean or anything, Cat couldnt hurt a fly, let a alone a person-or in this case, a Robbie.
"Well I....I mean he....I mean. ugh! He said that he thought that the spark disappeared and that i didnt love him anymore." She spat out taking a huge breath afterwards.
