I Walk The Line (A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction)

Chapter 31

I started shooting. Thankfully, I missed. My hands were shaking too much. Connor and Miles fell to the floor, then rolled out of the room, out of my sight. 

Miles.

It felt as if my entire body was on fire and I was drowning at the same time. My knees were shaking as I ran towards the back door. I slammed them shut behind me and locked them. As soon as I did, my knees almost gave way. 

That was Miles.

I looked around the room. There were mostly spare computers and tech stuff. The only light came from a small window. I heard shouting in the computer room and from the hallways. There were more of them. It was only a matter of seconds before they would burst through the door. I shot at the window, breaking the glass. 

But he's dead.

I glanced out of the window. At least a 15 foot drop. I didn't even have time to prep myself for the fall. The voices got louder and they started banging on the door. There was no other way out. I climbed to the ledge and, without a second thought, I just jumped. 

I must be going mad.

I landed on the concrete, hard. I felt my ankle making a weird sound and felt intense pain. As if that weren't enough, I was laying on my wounded arm too. 

This is my worst mental breakdown yet.

I somehow managed to get up on my feet. My ankle was either broken or twisted, but I couldn't waste time worrying about that. Despite the pain, I ran. I ran to the clearing in front of the building. Clint and Tony were there, fighting the last remaining HYDRA agents. They noticed me immediately. Tony punched one agent so hard he sent him flying, while Clint kicked the other one in the stomach. 

Does SHIELD have a psych ward?

I ran up to them. Clint took my hand and started dragging me towards our jet while Tony covered our backs. We stumbled inside and fell to the ground. "Go! Now!" Clint screamed at the agent who was flying it. We took off and Tony flew in just before the door closed. 

What if... what if it was real?

That question sent me down a rabbit hole. My mind was sent into overdrive. I saw Clint touching my now swollen ankle and ask me something, but I couldn't react. Tony waved his hand in front of my face to no avail. I was completely shut down, numb to the outside world. Clint helped me up to a seat, where he also put on my seat belt for me. I could hear him and Tony talking. "Something's wrong with her. Maybe they drugged her?" 

That was the last thing I heard before I completely shut off.

I just saw Miles.
But he's dead.
I killed him 10 years ago. I watched him die, didn't I? Didn't I?
He's not alive. It's a trick.
But what if he is?
He can't be.
Miles is dead.
Oh god they drugged me.
If he's alive, does that mean Christina and Oliver are alive too?
I killed them.
I was drugged.
Was I drugged?
When?
Miles.
Alive.
Miles is alive.
He's alive.
He's dead.
He's alive.
He's dead.
heisaliveheisdeadheisaliveheisdeadheisaliveheisdeadheisaliveheisdeadheisaliveheisdeadheisaliveheisdead
He's alive.

-----------------

By the time we got back, I was convinced I was having a complete meltdown. I kept repeating everything in my head over and over and over and over and over again. Clint and Tony tried to talk to me, but it was like I couldn't hear them. Maybe I chose to ignore them, maybe not. I didn't know anything anymore.

We finally arrived at the Avengers tower. Clint helped me out of the jet while Tony ran out to meet the others. I could faintly hear their worried voices, but I couldn't make out any words. My arm and ankle were throbbing, but at least the bleeding stopped. I felt so tired. My eyelids felt heavy and my brain was drained. I just wanted to take a nap and forget anything ever happened.

"What do you mean something's wrong?!" I heard Bucky shout at Tony. I was suddenly snapped out of my trance by his voice. Clint noticed I was back, but he didn't say anything. "Chill out, Elsa", Tony said calmly. I almost smiled at the pun. As we got closer, I saw Bucky peering over Tony's shoulder, worried and a bit angry. Bruce shoved them both aside and came to help, putting his hand on my back and my left hand in his, he guided me through the small crowd that formed. They all looked worried and a bit shocked. Clint let go of me on the right and Bucky immediately took his place. I couldn't do anything but squeeze his hand.

Down in medical, Bruce put my ankle in a cast and took the bullet out of my arm. He took my blood and ran some tests. He made me do some exercises to make sure everything was fine. All this time, Bucky stood in the corner of the room, observing everything carefully.

"Everything is okay, you'll be back in the field in a few weeks. I'm gonna keep you here tonight though, just in case", Bruce told me about two hours later. I just nodded. "In case of what?" Bucky asked. Bruce smiled reassuringly. "It's the normal procedure, don't worry."

I looked at Bruce while he read something to Bucky from my file. I knew I couldn't ask him anything in front of my beyond worried boyfriend. We had to be alone.

"Bucky", I croaked. They both jumped. I hadn't spoken a word the entire time we were there. Bucky quickly sat next to me and took my hand. I giggled at his worried expression. "I'm not dying", I joked. "Can you get me some orange juice please?" He cracked a small smile and nodded, then got up and left without a word.

As soon as he closed the door, I turned to Bruce. "Can I have a psych evaluation?" I blurted out. He frowned and adjusted his glasses. "You think you need it?"

I stayed silent. After a minute, he sighed. "Of course. I'm guessing you don't want anyone to know?" I smiled and shook my head no. "Thanks."

Bucky came back right then, holding a glass of orange juice like I asked. I smiled and took it from him. I glanced at Bruce as he was leaving. I could tell he was gonna keep that small request to himself. Maybe I could trust him after all.