I Don't Belong In This Mental Institution (Old Version)

Chapter Eleven: He will never like me

Akura's P.O.V

Last night, I couldn't sleep. Ethan acted so weird yesterday. When I got really scared and looked for that feeling of security in Ethan, he pushed me away. I don't really understand! I spent the whole night thinking of possibilities of why he pushed me but none seemed logical

Annoyed by my sudden frustration I groaned and got up the bed. He didn't even want me to sleep in his bed last night... Does any of this have to do on how I look? I sighed and proceeded to brush my teeth and wash my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw my hair was straight, not curly anymore. I sighed and brushed it more, knowing that it won't go back to curly.

Although Ethan was strange yesterday night, he still lend me his shirt to sleep. Deciding I had nothing better to do, I walked slowly towards my new clothes and took a pink shirt and some pants that I think are called shorts. I took Ethan's towel and headed towards the bathtub. I took Ethan's shirt off and smelled it. It smells so good, just like him... I miss being near him so much. a tear dropped from my eye into the shirt. I held into the shirt tight and cried into it.

What have I done wrong?

I whipped the tears away and folded his shirt. I entered the shower and let the water hit me completely. I really don't mind about my hair, it's going to get straight and nice anyway. The hot water ran through all my skin.

You are worthless.. A voice in my head said.

He doesn't want you because you are crazy...

Stupid,bitch idiotic mentally retarded girl.... You think he wants that?

I shook my head slowly listening to the voice in my head... "You are right; why would he want a girl like me.." I murmured staring blankly into the wall.

You remember that girl, Courtney? She is very pretty, normal color eyes, and NORMAL.

I sighed and nodded. It's true, who will ever like a girl like me... "No one will ever like me, I am not normal. Normal people like normal people. Crazy people are too crazy to like anyone... I simply don't get it... Why can't I be completely crazy so I can just not like anyone and have no friends... Instead, I am just a crazy person that is not that crazy to not know about friends, family, things, the world." I said sighing. I looked down feeling a hot tear slid down my eye. "Hey, don't cry. Everything will just be better if you just cut a part of your body, I don't know maybe like, your hand..." A person who was laying down in the tub said smiling.

"I don't know... Are you sure this will make things better?" I asked in a low voice. "Ofcourse, but you know what will make you happy? Overdosing yourself."

Confused by her words I let out a deep breath. "What do I have to do to overdose?"

"Drink all the pills from that jar" she said pointing towards a white jar. Slowly, I stepped out of the tub and reached the jar on top of the sink. What will this do to me? "C'mon, do it. It's going to make you really happy."

Without thinking twice I opened the jar." I want to overdose." I muttered while spilling the pills out in the sink. "Is 23 pills enough?" I asked pretty scared. What if it's not? What if I can't be happy?

"Yes." was the last thing I heard from the girl. She seemed like my age, but I am not really sure. "You will be happy if you overdose. You will be in a better place. Being dead, will mean you don't have do deal with Bill, the hospital, your emotions, your insecurities and anything else no more..." I heard a voice say. The last two words echoed in my mind for what seemed like years. No more, no more living here..

I smiled down at the pills and placed them all in my mouth. No more of this world... No more Bill... I placed my head under the faucet and drank water from it. All the pills went down my throat making me feel happy. I smiled knowing that Ethan won't have to deal with me anymore. "I have caused you so many problems, it's obvious you never wanted me here and you never wanted me as a friend. But don't worry, I am going to finally be out your life, forever." I murmured to my reflection in the mirror.

Ethan's P.O.V

I groaned as my mom woke me up. "It's a beautiful morning, darling. Wake up!" She sang happily opening my curtain. I grabbed my pillow and moaned to it. "Where is Akura honey?" she asked.

"I suppose she is taking a shower since the water is running..." I murmured rubbing my eyes. She nodded and walking towards the door. "When she finished take a shower too"

I nodded and she closed my door. Well, 10 more minutes of sleep. I sighed deeply but happily and threw the pillow on top of my head.

I woke up, knowing I had to shower. I still heard the water though. Looking at my desk clock I saw it was 11:34 it's been 34 minutes, and she is still taking a god damn shower! This girl is unbelievable!

Without hesitating I quickly stood up from my bed and pulled myself towards the bathroom door. I knocked on it roughly while screaming. " Akura, hurry up!"

-no answer-

Confusion attacked me making me baffled. "Akura?" I knocked lightly.

-no answer-

The water was running, so that meant she is in there. But why didn't she answer... Is she mad at me for pushing her away yesterday? Well that will be extremely stupid.

I felt a rush of guilt and preoccupation rise up in me. "AKURA OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!" I screamed slamming my fist against the door.

-no answer-

Panic started rising in me and I couldn't bare waiting for her to answer. Desperately I tried opening the door and miraculously it was open. I rushed in and saw Akura thrown on the floor, naked. "Akura wake up!" I demanded shaking her.

-no movement-

-no answer-

I shook her violently but she didn't move. I placed my hand over her bare chest and felt no pulse. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! Quickly I looked around frantically and found my bottle of medicine a few meters away from her hand. Slowly I picked it up and it had nothing in it. Panic in me got stronger and I knew what she did. She overdose, she killed herself, my Akura killed her self...

WHY? WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS!! Guilt rose in me making me feel worst about all this. Not knowing what to do, I tried shocking her so she will react but nothing happened. Maybe it isn't to late. Maybe I can save her...

Maybe....maybe....maybe.....