Your Future - A Garmau AU

Chapter 5

Aphmau

I'm alive. I survived the car crash. But, why? There's something that Garroth doesn't know. Something that, no one knows. I'm suicidal.

I understand that dying would just cause pain for those around me but me being alive, is causing me more pain then I could ever imagine. I do not cut, though I have had thoughts of it. I'm kinda suicidal I guess. If you don't understand what I mean then I'll break it down for you.

I wouldn't grab a knife and cut my throat, ending it all there. But, if I was walking down the street, and a car was coming straight for me, I wouldn't move or scream; I'd let it hit me. I'm depressed because of my mother, and father. My real father. I see my father on the weekends, and I love him a lot! I really do. But, he hits me. And abuses me. I didn't tell my- wait, scratch that. I don't tell my mom because I don't want her to worry more than she already has to, and I don't want her to keep me away from my dad.

I know he'll change.. It's just taking him a long time.. Yeah.. That's all...

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"Mija? What's wrong?" My mother calls out to me as my step-father brings dinner to the table. we are a poor family, so tonight we are having just some meat loaf and sting beans. "I'm fine mom. Just sore, that's all. And tired." I reply. "Okay Mija. As long as you're okay." Yep. I'm okay. Me and Garroth are sitting next to each other while my mom and Jason are sitting across from us. In the corner of my eye, I can see Garroth looking at me. Does he know I'm lying? I brush it off and continue eating.

"This is really good Mrs. Lorde!" Garroth yells excitedly while stuffing meat loaf in this face. I laugh my retarded laugh. "Hahah!" I just can't stop laughing. I haven't laughed like that in a while. "Aphy baby! Are you alright?" Jason asks me. I calm down and nod. "Y-yeah.." I say, wiping a tear from under my eye. Garroth blushes but keeps eating. What was that for? Hmm..

"Mija? Can I talk to you alone a minute?" My mom calls me as we are done with eating. I look over to Garroth and he nods, telling me it's okay to leave him with Jason. I walk to my mom, slowly, since I am just recovering of course. "Mija... Garroth is a very good boy! Are you going to cut him off like you do to every boy you meet?"

Garroth

"Mija... Garroth is a very good boy! Are you going to cut him off like you do to everybody you meet?" Jason let me go to listen on their conversation. I'm glad he did; they're talking about me. And what does she mean by, "cut him off"? "Mom! Why would you even ask that..?" I hear Aphmau say to her mom, a little sadly. "He's a god boy Aph. I don't want him getting hurt. You either Mija!" Ms. Lorde says to her daughter. "He's... Different.." I hear Aphmau say. "In a good way or bad?"

"Good! He's so special to me momma! He's helped out family so much; I don't know how I could ever repay him! Gar basically saved your life... And mine.." Does she really care for me? "Gar?" Aphmau's mom asks. "What's with the sudden nickname?" I could hear her smile. "Mija.. Do you love him?" What's with the Sudden question..? "M-M-Mom!! I.. Why would you a-ask a question like that..?" Aph's mom just laughs. "Let's go back to the dinner okay Mija?" I hear a kiss noise and run back to the table so they don't know I heard their conversation.

Gar? That is a sudden nickname... And Aphmau didn't give her mother an answer when she asked if Aph likes me.. Maybe she does like me? Pff, Aphmau would never like me...  Right? Besides, I have a girlfriend! My dad hooked me up with her and I love her!!

I do!!

Really..

I don't.. At all.. I love Aphmau! And I can't get her out of my mind.. If only she'd like me back...