Blinded s.m

5

An: I haven't slept at all lately and I'm very exhausted so if this chapter is shit I'm so sorry. Also it may be a little short but I'll make my other updates longer.

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I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach waking up this morning. After what happened last night, I just want to go him. I just want to go back to before I knew about shawns gf. Why am I like this? Why do I have to like him? There are plenty of really nice guys at my school. Why Shawn? He's nice, comforting, sweet, selfless (sometimes), funny, is always there for me, and we have so much history. And I only find myself thinking of him in every situation and everyday. Even if I'm mad at him, his arms are where I want to be most. I crave his love.

Today Emily and I are going to
some shops and coffee. Later we are going to meet up with Shawn for a lunch/dinner stop at Emily favorite restaurant and then me and Shawn are leaving. I can't wait to see my mom again, and shawns family. I also can't wait to sleep in my familiar bed. KMSndn. I miss my damn bed.

Shawn still hasn't woken up yet which is odd because he's an early riser. He must have stayed up late last night. His phone beeps and I realized it's right next to me. I grab it and see 3 messages on the lock screen from "baby💗👑". I roll my eyes and read the first one. "Oh forget about her babe. If she can't see how much I make you happy then who needs her xox". And another. "Honestly Shawn, if she doesn't care about your happiness then you don't need such a negative person who dwells on the past.xox " And another. "Okay I can tell your asleep baby. Sleep tight and don't let Camila bite. I'm joking lol sleep tight face time when before and after your flight. Love you x".

Huh. Okay.

I guess I can see where I'm being selfish but I do care about Shawn. More than they think tbh. I put shawns phone back and roll off the bed. I'm in need of a therepudic shower before my day with Emily.

I turn the water to hot and unclothed while the water heated. Moments later I step in and the hot water feels so good on my skin. I hate being a stressed out kid. I massage my hair getting it all wet before scrubbing some hotel shampoo in my hair. I rinse and begin to massage conditioner at the tips of my hair. I rinse again and begin to rub the bar of soap around my body and then wash my body. I grab my shaver cream that I brought and put them on my legs and armpits and shave.
After the shower I get out and start to get dressed and do my makeup and hair.

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An hour later I'm all ready. Makeup turned out pretty well so I'm in a good mood.

I take a selfie and post it on Twitter. I tagged Emily and captioned 'Hanging out with the wonderful Emily today'.

I exit the bathroom and I see Shawn crying. I rush over to him. He's sitting on his side of the bed with his feet criss crossed and his head is in his hands. I sat in front of him and rubbed his arm letting him know I'm here. He doesn't look up though. "I broke up with Laura for you." He says as he gets up. He looks at me and I feel guilt. His face is just broken. The tears flow and my heart shattered. "Shawn I-" "No Cam, it's okay I promise you. You come first. Always. I don't know what I was thinking. As soon as I broke up with her she started saying hateful things about me and even you. She said the only reason she was with me was to make you hate me. And I'm guessing her plan worked because last night, at dinner, I could tell I was hurting you. I just want someone who loves me." I grab his hand and pull him down on the bed. When he sits I wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck and I hug him so tight. He snakes his arms around my waist and he hugs me tight too. "Shawn, I need you to know that I don't hate you. I can't. It's impossible for someone to hate such a sweet muffin like you. Yeah I guess I felt betrayed when you were with Laura but you liked her and that is what should have mattered." I unwrap my arms and he does too. I lean back and wipe away his tears and give him a kiss on each cheek. "Camila." I look into his eyes. He is searching my face for something and I can't figure out what he was searching for so I just hug him again. I don't want him to be alone. He shouldn't have to be alone. Shawn Mendes is too sweet to ever feel like he's alone.