Help Me, It Hurts

Starting Over

Chapter 10

Starting Over

For a moment it felt like I had nothing, I must admit. But I couldn't let myself dwell in the self-pity for long for a number of reasons, with the main one being that I had work to do. Sitting around crying about it, wasn't going to solve anything...it wasn't going to take back the words spoken at the cafe or give me back the money I had earned. I had a decision to make, stay and continue on living here with the hope that Meghan didn't find my parents and tell them where I was or move on. Something within me didn't settle well with the thought of having to move on...I felt compelled to stay here despite the humiliation Meghan had thrown at me. If there's one thing I've learned in my years, it's to trust your gut, so that's what I'm doing.

That's why I'm standing outside the cafe with Chelsea giving my back a light pat in an attempt to calm my racing heart and the flutters in my stomach. I looked up at her, grateful for all that she's done for me these past few days. Ironically, the day Meghan had exposed my secret to practically half the town, was the day that Chelsea had been notified of the approval of my request to reside with her in her apartment. I tried declining the offer, since I wasn't sure how possible it'd be for me to afford the apartment now that more than half of savings are gone but she insisted that I'd stay free of charge until I get back on my feet. While I did want to go in to work the following day, I couldn't bring myself to show my face there...not yet at least; not until now.

"You can go back home ya know? It's completely understandable if you want to take the next few days off as well-" I shifted the weight between feet, feeling a bit uneasy as I didn't have my bag with me today. There was no need to have it with my anymore when I could have it back at the apartment where it can be locked up.

"No," I cut her off, "I'm so grateful for all that you've done for me cricket,...but I have to stand on my own two feet. Life doesn't wait for anyone, including me so it's time I go back..." It sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince her.

"Well, let me know if it's too much 'kay? I'll walk you home in a heartbeat- we will be just fine if you decided to leave early" I nodded in response, even though I wasn't planning on taking her up on the offer.

Taking a deep breath I entered into the quiet cafe. I made sure to get here early to help with the opening. Mo was already at the front counter, placing a fresh batch of muffins in the display window. When she saw me, she didn't say a word but simply gave me a hug before giving me a motherly look that made it clear to tell her if I wanted to go home at all. I nodded at her before stepping away from the hug and began to open the cafe.

We had a few minutes left before opening the doors to the cafe, so I went to bathroom. As I was washing my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was still recovering from the beating. My abdomen was still throbbing in response and the cuts on my face was still visible. My black hair was down today, to help with covering the cuts on my face. It was looking a lot better since I've been able to use Chelsea's stuff to wash up and keep it healthy. It now had slight curls in it, the same curls that I thought were long gone from my childhood. I suppose all the dirt and uncleanliness was weighing it down. My brown eyes continued to take in my new uniform, seeing as my old one was ruined, and my cut up legs. I sighed as my ache in my abdomen continued on but I was determined to make it through work today. I couldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself- not anymore at least. I sighed again as I walked back into the dining area.

As usual, the first customer was Walter. He gave me a smile and the usual morning greeting before sitting in his usual spot as Chelsea came up to take his order. I was relieved when he didn't mention anything and simply kept to his usual routine. I occupied myself with fiddling with the food in the display window until the next customer walked in. Not soon after, the bell rung signaling that the next customer just came through. I waited a moment before gathering my courage and walking over to the customer.