The Reality of a Relationship

2

Three weeks later

"Brett you're driving me crazy. I know I made a mistake, but I thought we got over it. What's your bloody issue?" I yell at Brett.

This boy, the one who I truly love, just happens to also be the one who I can't stand. Three weeks ago, during our time spent at the cottage, I messed up. I got super drunk and accidentally made out with Reese. The thing was that everyone except Brett was completely wasted, so no one knew what they were doing. The reason why Brett wasn't drunk was because alcohol drove his parents apart and he doesn't want it to do the same to his life. Back to the point though, ever since then Brett just hasn't trusted me the same. I apologized and even went out of my way to make things right. Finally, after asking for an apology in front of a whole crowd at Times Square was I forgiven. Or at least I thought.

"What's my bloody issue? My bloody issue is that I love you so god damn much, but I don't know if you feel the same!" Brett screams back at me.

Oh. Brett feels insecure about my love? Gosh this boy doesn't understand that I'd never go to such lengths for an apology - except for him.

"Brett, if I didn't love you as much, I wouldn't have gone through all that hassle to apologize. I'm truly sorry for what I did, but you gotta trust me," I try to say calmly.

He hesitates for a moment as if he's debating on whether saying what's on his mind or not. After a few seconds, Brett inhales deeply.

"I don't know if I can trust you. A lot of people in my life have let me down. It's hard for me to give people second chances because most of the time, they don't use it properly," Brett explains.

When you love someone, you trust them completely. To know that Brett didn't trust hurt a lot. It was as if someone punched me with a metal fist in the stomach.

"So what? You want to break up?" I say my voice cracking.

"No, I just need time and space," Brett states.

I don't know how to react. Sometimes in our relationship, it's as if I'm the only one fighting for us. Sure we've never really had any fallouts before, but ever since my silly little carelessness when I was drunk, it's like he's given up. Given up on our relationship. If that's how he really feels than maybe time and space is exactly what I'll give him.

"Fine. I'll grab my stuff and go," I say in a defeated tone. He doesn't spare me a glance as I make my way into our bedroom.

Trying to move as fast as I can, I pack a bunch of clothes and everything else necessary. While in the closet, I spot one of Brett's sweatshirts and decide to stuff it in my bag as well. Might as well cry in it on lonely nights away from him. What can I say, when it comes to Brett, I'm sorta pathetic. I walk out only to see that he isn't in the apartment anymore. He probably couldn't see me leave. I place the key on the kitchen's counter before exiting.

With only one place left to go, I drive to Megan's apartment. I let some of my frustration out by speeding on the way. The rush of driving really fast, helps me relax and feel at ease.

Once I reach the building, I turn off my car and think of what had just happened. After the fight, this was the only moment I really thought about it. That is why my emotions seemed to kick in at this moment and I start balling my eyes out. Sob after sob, my thoughts just evade my head. Why does it hurt so bad? I mean, it's just a boy Willa. Your not the girl to cry after boys. You're better than that.

Oh hell. Who are you kidding? You can't last without him. Pathetic, isn't it?

I hate crying because it makes me think like that, but I'm not stupid enough to hold my emotions in. That'll only make me blow up, and do something idiotic, even more idiotic than what I've already done.

When I manage to pull myself together as much as I can, I head inside the building to Megan's apartment. I knock on her door impatiently knowing that I'm about to lose my composure again.

Megan opens the door and looks surprised to see me there. "Willa? What are you doing here?"

Seeing the concern on her face, I wrap my hands around her tightly as if she's the only one left for me now.

"Okay honey, let's get you inside."

Once we're finally seated on her couch, I explain what happened. Megan listens and when I finish, she speaks up, "Well, he said he needs space and time. So, that doesn't mean that he's officially breaking up with you."

"I know, but it still hurts Meg. H-he's the o-one. The one for m-me. What i-if this completely e-ends things between us?" I say in between sobs.

"It's gonna be alright. You just have to give it some time okay? It will eventually blow over."

I nod my head praying that Megan is right.

"Let's get you to bed now."

Brett's P.O.V.

I really hate myself right now. I know that Willa has proved her love to me and she more than deserves to be forgiven, but I can't. I just can't. I want to put it all behind us so bad. I even talked to Reese and he seemed just as apologetic as Willa. I get it, they were under the influence of alcohol and all that. It's just, what if it happens again. Alcohol is a very bad thing. It gets people to do things they would never in their right mind do and that's why I hate it so much.

When I told Willa that I needed space, I didn't expect her to leave so easily. I guess I was too dependent on her always fighting for me that I forgot she could easily give up on us. I know I couldn't watch her go without being a mess, so I left while she was packing.

It's been a while since I've been walking around the park near my apartment building and clearing my head. Knowing that it's gonna get dark soon, I decide to head back. When I walk in, everything feels so empty and quiet. Her presence is already being missed deeply by me. She's gone.

Of course she's gone, you weren't expecting her to stay? She's always been good to you and you can't even so much as trust her. You were her everything and she proved it. But, you have done nothing to prove it.

Oh gosh.

What have I done?

I can't manage to ever live without her, she means too much to me. I have to get her back. I'll do whatever it takes. I'm gonna show her just how much I love her.

Okay Brett, no more doubting. It's true, your past made you someone who doesn't trust so easily, but this is Willa. This is different.

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Love you <3