Breathe (because life is worth the pain)

Loss of Appetite

Dear Lisa,

I overheard the nurses talking today, they say you're skipping your pills. I beg you to take them regularly. And don't throw away all the food. It doesn't feel good that your trays come back full. I feel pretty guilty for having sandwiches right outside the door while you sit there gagging. I know the hospital food sucks and once you get better I promise I'll bring you your favorite. I'll even sneak in some chocochip ice-creams.

Don't be so surprised. I've noticed your face light up at the mere sight of them. You might hate me for this but once I followed you after school. I did have to make tons of excuses to my friends but once I was alone, I trailed behind you to the ice-cream joint. He offered you more than what came at that price and the look on your face was priceless. As you held the cone, you beamed at the old man and turned towards me. I can vaguely recall your face as you savored the delicacy. How I wish I could've watched longer.

You might not have noticed my face but I'm sure you remember the guy who fell on the puddle right infront of you? I even managed to send some splatters of mud on your favorite dress. Even so, you offered to help but I told you off pulling my cap over my face. I'm sorry for being rude Lisa, I'm so sorry. How I wish I'd took your hand then.

But we can't change the past and the soon you realize this Lisa, the better. We've all done stupid things in the past and it'll only be good for us if we let them go. Stop thinking about the past and try to make future better. Lisa please have whatever they provide you with. I would gladly come there and feed you myself but it kills to think what you'll say once you see me. I don't want to cause you more trouble. I can't see the rejection in your eyes. I can't bear the though of losing you again.

-S