You Honey, You

I'm sorry but I'm not

Its past the lil girl's bedtime, I know, but the waterworks won't come to a halt. If my pillow could complain it would be pushing me off of it if that even makes sense.
You might take off one day and look back when its too late. You won't but I've seen the best do that. I'm dying a little more while typing this but I've seen those who never turn, turn on their heels and never once look back.
At least in my case.
Its painful, living with these thoughts. Its painful. I'm sorry that I'm too much. Not only for you but for me as well. I'm sorry for letting you in too much cause I scare you now I think. I'm sorry for my paranoia, for my bitter past cause that's what you deal with, so gracefully babe that my heart does those weirdass-lovestruck back flips from all that love. I'm sorry for all the blades and the anxiety. I'm sorry for shaking violently, for being this.

I hope you never fully get what I go through. I never want you to. As for that you will have to go through it first.

I'm sorry for being so hard to love but I am not nothing good ever comes easy and a twisted part of my heart would like to believe that I'm good, a bit at least.

I'm sorry for being so broken, so demonic, so dark. I'm sorry for having nothing to offer but my twisted version of love.

But I just know that no one, I repeat no one would love you like I do, as much as I do, the extent to which I do. I could've been a normal girl, but than that's what my love would be, normal.

I want insane love. Crazy, twisted, fucked up, untameable, unconditional love. That's how I love you.

I'm sorry but I'm not sorry cause in a twisted way, this is what makes me love you like no one can. Yes no one can, I can promise you that.